Friday Thoughts on Serving

Just before the Passover Feast, Jesus knew that the time had come to leave this world to go to the Father. Having loved his dear companions, he continued to love them right to the end. It was suppertime. The Devil by now had Judas, son of Simon the Iscariot, firmly in his grip, all set for the betrayal. Jesus knew that the Father had put him in complete charge of everything, that he came from God and was on his way back to God. So he got up from the supper table, set aside his robe, and put on an apron. Then he poured water into a basin and began to wash the feet of the disciples, drying them with his apron. When he got to Simon Peter, Peter said, “Master, you wash my feet? John Thirteen, The Message

I love my generation. 
I love the movers and the shakers, I love the unrest where it pertains to justice. I love that we're trying to utilize new mediums to share our stories and use our voices. I love the quiet wrestling over the way things seem like they're supposed to be that always come back to Jesus and what He was about. I'm grateful for how God has wired us just like I'm crazy grateful for the generations that have come before us and the massive amounts of wisdom they've been able to impart to us. 

But I see this thing in me that I unfortunately see elsewhere in my various tribes and it hurts my heart and makes me nervous for us. Starting with looking at my own self, I see a basic misunderstanding about leadership that is crazy troubling. We're making strides for sure - taking personality tests, knowing if we're introverts or extroverts. We're learning how to talk to people and how to love them in the right language. A lot of us have pictures or visions of where we'd like to lead or what we'd like to lead people in, but I'm worried we've missed one of the core principles of leadership. 

Lately the Lord has me stuck on posture. What is my posture towards Him and WHAT is His posture towards me? Am I leaning into Him? Am I resisting? Is He far off with His arms crossed against me (no), is He longing to hold and guide me (yes)? Looking to scripture to see exactly how God's posture is towards us is fascinating. He holds, He carries, He runs, He shouts for us, He's sending, He's praying, He's hurting, He's loving. And Jesus? He was washing. Knelt down, bent low, with the dirt and nasty of the day all up on His hands. He led by serving. And moreover? He called us to the same. 

Have we gotten off track maybe by being so excited and intent on what WE have to give? What skills we excel in and those we're lacking in? Do you feel fed up because people aren't listening to you or following you steadily? I find myself there. Wondering if people see how hard I'm trying to love or how intentionally I'm trying to lead. I find myself dreaming about the future and the words He might let me write or the people He might let me speak to. Even with my children, I prayerfully imagine the beautiful ways He's going to have them grow and the blessed part I get to have in that as their chief mama-shepherd. 

But I've forgotten to bend down and lead by serving. 
I've forgotten that it's the joy of the thing to get my hands dirty in the junk. 
I've forgotten to lead like Jesus. 
And I'm ready to remember.