I'll remember this one night at my high school small group for the rest of my life.
Our amazing leaders opened with this question: If you've prayed about something and you really trust God, should you continue to pray about it? Do you need to keep praying or can you just trust Him?
I was 16 and not even a tiny bit prideful. By that I mean I was crazy prideful. I'd been a believer in Jesus for about eleven months and I KNEW EVERYTHING. While everyone else talked and debated, I held firm. If we trust God - we shouldn't have to ask Him for anything twice. If we believe in God, we should pray once and then believe He'll fix it. Done. Mic drop. See that faithfulness? Touchdown dance.
Our leaders graciously pointed us to the story of Jesus praying in the garden, reminding us gently that our Savior asked His Father to take this cup. Not once, not twice, but three times. Jesus continually prayed for something, even something He knew was essentially not a part of God's plan.
Yesterday I had this weird kind of potentially bad day. I really, really hesitate to call it a bad day because who knows if it will all turn out bad. But it seemed like a lot of things happening at once. It seemed overwhelming. I seemed like we were up against a boulder of potential trial, needing to decide if we'd barrel over it with all our might and all our energy or if we'd sit quietly and faithfully in front of the massive thing - filled with faith and asking God to move it.
And this particular trial is one we've walked through before. Many, many, many times. But we've had a few years since our last bout of fighting it and I'd really hoped we'd never encounter it again. So I remembered that lesson from high school and it was such a comfort. I've prayed and asked God to answer this thing. And I can pray, in faith, asking Him to answer it again.
BUT! I have to tell you what I found in my heart when I started to pray. I found some freedom and some strength that only God could have grown. It felt like I found a muscle in my soul that used to be so puny and weak and over time - the Lord just beefed it up and made it strong. Not because of my strength or goodness but because He's shown Himself faithful time and again in this one particular area.
And I knew yesterday that I had the freedom as a daughter to be scared and to fret and to pray again, again, again for the same issue. But I also had some newfound freedom, because of His trustworthiness, to go ahead and start praising Him for how He'd help this time around. I felt that muscle, so much stronger than it's ever been in the past, easily holding the mountain up to my Father and saying: Help. Please. I know you will. Thank you.
If you're facing a mountain today, I just wanted to remind you of both of those freedoms. If you're scared and need to pray like a beggar: ask Him once, twice, three times. Eighteen times. If you see the temptation to be scared but you've seen Him show up enough to know He will actually show up - I dare you to thank Him ahead of time and go ahead and start praising Him for how He is going to work this for your good and His glory. Before you see the answer, before the relief comes.
The important thing is that we as His daughters talk to our Dad. And know that He's there. He cares. And He will, in His perfect timing and knowledge, show up.