Something to think on...

This is just not my strong suit. But integrity is something I've been praying about and praying for. Here's a passage I'm really stuck on lately.

I know, my God, that you test the heart and are pleased with integrity. All these things have I given willingly and with honest intent. And now I have seen with joy how willingly your people who are here have given to you. O LORD, God of our fathers Abraham, Isaac and Israel, keep this desire in the hearts of your people forever, and keep their hearts loyal to you. And give my son Solomon the wholehearted devotion to keep your commands, requirements and decrees and to do everything to build the palatial structure for which I have provided. 1 Chronicles 29:17-19

My sister & I have been doing Beth Moore's Daniel study which focuses on having integrity and being strong in today's Babylonic society. My sister's been doing much better at it but every few days when I read it, I'm just so challenged by what the Word says. Last night as I was reading Beth asked if there was one circumstance in life that you know without a shadow of a doubt how you would respond. Her example was that if one of her children were in danger, she would risk her life to save them. That's easy for mothers, but it's hard to think of a circumstance like that with the Lord for me. If I was in some godforesaken place and being held at gunpoint, I want to say I would never deny Christ but part of me knows my mind would wander to Elias and Nick and wanting to be with them. If someone out in society ridiculed me for knowing Christ, I want to know that I wouldn't take it to heart, but part of me knows I have a huge issue with people pleasing and something in me would want to impress them.

Anyways, this verse really spurs me. I'd like to be able to say this to the Lord without wavering.