Going Public

The past few days for Nick and I have been extremely beautiful, a little bit painful, and they have certainly revealed the character of our Lord. On Thursday morning, we received the news that our sweet Glory Baby had tested with a high probability of having a chromosomal disorder known as Trisomy 18, or Edward's Syndrome. Trisomy 18 is a fatal genetic disorder - where 50% of the babies die in utero, 10% live for up to 24 hours and just 5% make it to one year. We knew we'd be waiting until this morning to get any kind of news - so we just sort of tucked in, prayed for peace, and waited.

Beginning on Thursday morning - Jesus absolutely poured peace over us. Just two hours after the call - we felt really comforted by Him and absolutely assured that this was not His desire. In a time where I completely expected to feel angry with the Lord or as if He just truly didn't exist - I could not ignore the intense feeling that He was as heart-broken as we were.

It was really helpful to have family here this weekend, to keep us distracted and pray. I was so excited for Sunday because I was getting to share my testimony at Mosaic as part of 'The View', a four-woman panel discussing our current series, Seduced. It was so fun and I pray God was truly glorified through our opinions and stories. All day on Sunday - different women were asking me to pray for them and whether I knew their specific situations or not, I knew to pray for peace. I knew if God could provide His perfect peace for me despite waiting on these results - He could provide peace for anyone.

So... today. We went through a really extensive Level II ultrasound, and the doctor was able to tell us that from what they could see there were no major physical deformities. With Trisomy 18, the baby can either have a huge fatal deformity - such as a hole in the heart, or they can just not be able to function outside of the womb. Since we didn't get any conclusive results from the ultrasound, we had to have some other tests done and we'll get a definite result on Wednesday.

Again, I feel God's perfect peace. Nick and I have had the phrase "drink this cup" on our minds all weekend, and we've even had others who were unaware of our circumstances prophesy that we were needing to do just that. If we find out on Wednesday that our precious lovey is just fine - I can't tell you how much I'll still be praising God for this time to know His heart so much better. On the other hand, if we find out the opposite - we will not stop praising God for His Glory.