Some wisdom tidbits

I'm certainly blogging much more than I thought I'd have time to - life is slower here even though we're so overwhelmed with all we have to do. I know it will pick up once we have girls in the house next week - but right now, even with 20 boxes surrounding me, it's easy to feel like.... what's next? My mom & sister have been bearing the brunt of this too since I've been calling them both a little too frequently. It just makes me feel normal, I suppose.

I just read the first two days of the new devotional Nick got for me on his journey and both were so perfect for this season, I had to share them. We've received so much encouragment about New Beginnings and what we're doing here and I just feel like I need to be a little more truthful about what it's like to be in our shoes right now. We are very much in awe of what God has done through this ministry, and we're very ready to be apart of it - but stepping into a position like this can also make you feel really terrified about losing your personal space, time, and pleasure. Those who know us closely know that we are not naturally selfless people and we're certainly not natural missionaries - just waking up ready to give of ourselves.

So the new devotion - Devotional Classics, features a great Christian theologian everyday and these first two days have been so challenging. I asked NIck for a daily devotional that was meaty & he delivered. The first offering was written by CS Lewis and was called 'Giving All to Christ'. He wrote about how we, as believers, try to wake up in the morning and act more like Jesus - but we end up being miserable because it's just not fun to try and be something we're not. He said we're like eggs - trying to fly, without realizing we must be hatched. To quote... "For what we are trying to do is remain 'ourselves', to keep personal happiness as our great aim in life, and yet at the same time be 'good'. We are all trying to let our mind and heart go their own way - centered on money or pleasure or ambition - hoping, in spite of this, to behave honestly and chastely and humbly."

He said the solution is to wake in the morning and 'come in out of the wind' of our desires and personal gain. To die to Christ, and get out of bed with His ambitions - His directions - His desires. Wow. I prayed that this morning and will probably need to each morning for the rest of my life.... "Lord, help me come in out of the wind."

..... Today's devotion was the perfect follow up to yesterday. It was written by Dallas Willard and was about discipleship and how we aren't teaching it in the church anymore. He describes discipleship in Jesus' time as going with Him, in an attitude of study, obedience, and imitation. He said that "when confronted with the example and teachings of Christ, the response today is less one of rebellion or rejection than one of puzzlement. How do we relate to these? What have they to do with us?"

The one line I'm left with this from this passage is the following: Non-discipleship costs abiding peace. Nick and I are learning that lesson by the hour here.... when we fail to relent to God's will and when we put our life before His true life - we're left without any peace and anyone to blame. I wish I didn't have to wait to learn these lessons and I really pray that when God calls us away from this season, I'll be just as prone to a life of 'coming in out of the wind' as I'm being forced to experience now. Either way - I'm so thankful for this wisdon and I hope it's helpful to you!