Before I became a mom, I had so many ridiculous expectations of what it would be like. I had some ridiculous expectations of what I would be like... what my kids would be like and how it would feel. When Elias was born, I realized that I wasn't nearly as laid-back as I thought I'd be - everything stressed me out: packing diaper bags, worrying about him growing enough, and fearing I'd given him a brain tumor by dropping him his first night home from the hospital.
A few months later, I began to relax & see that mothering wasn't nearly as scary as I had imagined it. I was amazed I had all the abilities inside of me to keep a child alive & I began to give myself much more grace than before. Now - one week out of having my second (not too mention my three prego 'kids'), I'm starting to find some excitement in continually figuring out who I am as a mom.
My small group is reading "How People Change" by Tim Lane & Paul Trip and in doing the workbook this week, I was reading about how we can't find our purpose & direction without keeping eternity in mind. I know it's simplistic and an overgeneralization - but that helps me so much with motherhood. I know my kids are going to be great, I know I will grow in sanctification through being a mom, I know God will show up - if I keep my focus on His Kingdom and the end goal.
So - yesterday at Starbucks I had to smile. I've always known that my kids would appreciate the hallowed halls of coffee shops and yesterday was my first day having them both together, with Elias saying "Sis, Sis" and Glory just being passed out in her carrier. I look forward to so many more afternoons with them there and hopefully many more kids to join us.
*** On a semi-related note: My mom & sister have both recently written some of the sweetest, most encouraging blogs about our family & ministry. I'll address how wonderful they are in upcoming blogs, but for now let me just mention that these two women have helped shape who I am in Christ... He has used them to mold and shape me, and if they find ANYTHING worthy in me, it's because of Him and their obedience to teach me. ***