Sorry if the title confused you and you thought I was going to have a good word for you today, friends. Nope, this is just a blog bash in response to Lauren's lost theory.
Some things she said truthfully:
- our nights of ice cream debauchery while Nick studies are indeed fun
- she does not listen/watch well and then subsequently gets lost and then presses pause sixteen times per frame
- I do indeed iron my sheets & I will not apologize for it - do it once & you'll never go back.
Some things she should have said:
- I do not get confused about Lost, I'm on the same page with the writers and I believe I could write the ending better than they themselves can.
- I don't agree AT ALL with her trinitarian lost ideology. Not in the slightest.
- John Locke is obviously not the messiah of the island. Everyone (Ben, Richard Halpert, & now Charles Widmore) is taking advantage of his crazy faith in the island. They're telling him he is special and he is nothing more than a pawn. Does the island bring him back to life? SURE. Did it de-paralyze him? Sure. Did it do the same thing for Christian, Jack's dad? Yes. If you have any sense at all you can deduce that John Locke is no more special than anyone else. When he leaves the island, he becomes an accident prone fool once again.
- I also do not agree with the trinitarian theory because I believe that the major villains would like us to believe there are religious undertones to the island's power - while truly they are all scientific. If ANYONE should be the messiah, we should look to Farraday. Yes, the crazy skinny scientist who in truth - has probably been alive since the time of the real Messiah (Jesus, not John Locke - since John Locke is nobody's messiah) himself. Farraday is the key.
- The pepper monster is nothing more than a biproduct of the space time continuum & should not be considered be linked with the Holy Spirit in the slightest. Oh, and Jacob? Come on - he is the ultimate sham.
Now, you can take your Lost advice from anyone you choose but here is where I rest my case. What Miss Hogan did not tell you is that last night, on the verge of tears, she pleaded that she herself needed a 'constant' to help her make sense of the time-flash-changing-phenomenon. I did not need such help. I would just like to know where baby Aaron is, thank you.