preparation day

Here are the things officially left to do on my list:
- clean master bathroom mirror/floors
- clean downstairs bathroom
- put the guest bed sheets on
- wash our sheets
- change the kids crib bedding
- one last laundry load for me & kids
- put gas in the van
- vacuum upstairs
- vacuum the stairs
- write some chores for the girls
- prepare food for kids & nonny
- dust nursery
- finish packing
- print hospital directions for everyone

Last night before I went to bed, I didn't think I'd be able to sleep because my anxiety was actually like crawling up out of my throat to bark at me. I just want everyone to feel relaxed & taken care of and thus - I will feel relaxed & taken care of. For the past few nights I've been waking up sweating thinking "NEW BATTERIES IN THE VIDEO CAMERA!" or "BE SURE TO TELL NONNY ABOUT HOW ELIAS NEEDS TO HAVE HIS LOVEY & PUPPUP KISS EACH OTHER BEFORE BED!" hahahahaha, I'm not even kidding.

But then I woke up this morning and I just felt all that slip away.
Elias woke up at 7:30 and came to cuddle with me, Glory is still passed out at 8:15. Nick just said, "I guess I should get up" and I felt no need to give him a task or start him on a chore. Instead I said, "you can do whatever you want to do!" and I meant it!

If the bathroom mirror gets wiped down, great.
If I get time to make ten peanutbutterjelly sandwiches - awesome.
If not, I will make sure that at the end of today my kids feel ridiculously loved & ready for a little brother, my husband feels excited and rested, and my heart feels really ready to meet a new son.
it's preparation day.