I wrote late late last Thursday night about "the best kind of overwhelming" and how coming off an insanely busy few weeks had me longing for a 14 hour car ride to South Carolina to see family. The plan was to drive to SC, spend three whirlwind days helping my mom, my sister, visiting with my Nana, playing with nieces and nephews, being a star aunt to my newest baby nephew, sightsee with my friends, visit a few friends here, and jet back to Indiana all refreshed on Monday.
What happened instead is that after I got to the hospital to see my new baby nephew late Thursday night, I ended up a few floors below him and my sister in my own little predicament. We had some scary things happen with this baby and I'd say we're not out of the woods just yet. I'm doing all I can to make sure I keep baby + me as healthy as possible and right now that means super strict bedrest. So you can imagine my trip looked a leeeeetle different than I'd hoped.
There was no helping out at my sister's house or going to visit my Nana's nursing home. There was no sight seeing with my girl friends or running over the beautiful bridge to downtown. No following my mama around at church helping her and bringing her coffee. Just me. On the couch. Getting to visit and chat with the people I love. Enjoying my precious friends from Indiana who came with me and have loved the mess out of me. Texting my husband and talking to my kiddos whenever they get a spare minute. Sitting quietly and thinking on God's great mercy.
I've been looking up the definition of mercy.
Compassion or kindly forbearance shown toward someone in your power.
Pardoning someone by sending them to prison instead of death.
An act of kindness, compassion, or favor.
All of these fit with how I feel the Lord treating me right now.
The true, true story is maybe my "best kind of overwhelming" was just too plain overwhelming. Maybe it was even straight up disobedient and sinful. And God, in His great grace and mercy is giving me a big old fat chance to see a little more clearly. To draw a little closer to Him and listen a little more intently to exactly how He wants this life to look. To pray for my precious baby and to fight for them, the rest of my family, my community, and anyone who may be watching.
And maybe not to fight in productive, overwhelming, productivity based days but in quiet. In laying. In listening. In prayer. You know, the best kind of underwhelming.
Today, I've gotten the ok from my doctor to head very carefully back to Indiana on another 14 hour car ride - laying down in the backseat the whole way. The first long trip on Thursday was probably what the Lord used to turn my hospital visit into a very scary one rather than a very sad one and for that, I'm incredibly grateful. While I ride and sit and rest and pray and catch up with my kiddos and wait expectantly on the Lord, we'd love for you to join us in prayer for the life of this precious babe and for the rest of our family.
Thank you, thank you, thank you.