what easter means to me, my dear

table all ready for our "family easter celebration"

This is what Easter means to me this year, my dear. 
We talk about the gospel a lot in our family, in our church, in this christian life. Easter this years feels like the most real celebration of the gospel - all of it, the good & the bad. The bad and the good. 

It's Good Friday today, and there's the bad. The victorious, but oh-so-good-bad news. 
Jesus died on a cross for my sin. For my inadequacy. As bad as I think my sin is, it's worse. As bad as I imagine myself to be, I'm worse. This year, I'd say I lived that. Just when I thought I'd seen the depths of my own humanity and fallenness, I found more. Just when I thought it was time to pick myself up by the bootstraps and finally be a good me, I'd fall again. What hard bad and what beautiful bad I found in the gospel this year. 

feeling spicy in my apron.
And the good news, that Jesus rose. That He victoriously defeated the sin that entraps me. He defeated the ME part of me so that He could step in and save the day. Whatever I find, whenever I find it, He's redeemed it. Renewed it. That the parts of me that feel unloveable and unusable and broken are created, cherished, and healed by Him alone. That he power of the cross is in ME, for His will and His glory, and my enjoyment. 

And that space, at the end of the day - where I realize today I lived the bad news of the gospel and I have an ultimate choice. I can compare myself to others and accordingly pride or shame myself based on the comparison. I can appease myself with a piece of His truth, a part of His gospel - without diving fulling into what He has. I can turn off my heart and ignore the cry that their must be something more. Or I can just surrender, trade in bit by bit my chunks of weakness for the undeserved strength that He pours over me. Purify and enliven my own heart with the blood that my sin caused to shed. With no ability to repay or provide restitution. Easter is about loving and living 2 Corinthians 12:9. More and more each day. 

bad pic, but I want everyone to see how much Glor loves Nick. She pets him constantly as he reads the Bible:) 
But instead to feel the weight of the bad news & the good. All at once. 
The weight and power of the cross, with the victory, grace, and confidence of the cross. 
All with me, calming and loving and enveloping me in the spaces of quiet. 
Well, the loud ones too. 

but God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.
Romans 5:8

But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me.
2 Corinthians 12:9

According to his great mercy, he has caused us to be born again to a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, to an inheritance that is imperishable, undefiled, and unfading...
1 Peter 1:3&4