but which way will I go?
We were driving and I was distracted.
Not like bad-driving distracted, just lost in thought.
I wouldn't say I was full-on-worrying or being anxious, just playing the "if-this, then-that" game with our life.
We've been praying for some things bigger than us lately, holding our hands open to Him and begging Him to use them. Use us.
So I was walking it all out: if this, then that. But if this, then that.
And maybe there were a few "but Lord, what if this doesn't happen? and what if this does? what will we do then?"
Elias was pestering me from the backseat about, what else, school.
It's the best thing that is ever going to happen to him, preschool.
He cannot wait. And truly, I can't either - just because I'm so excited for him! He's got a million questions that I can't answer and learning is HIS THING. And he's always the big brother, I'm just so excited for him to be with kids his age for a few hours a day.
But this day, he was pestering me just a leettle.
What would he wear to school? What would his friend's names be?
Would they recycle at school? You've never met a kid more worried about landfills.
I wasn't frustrated, just a little flustered.
I was having so much "fun" playing "if-this, then-that" in my head. Semi questioning what the Lord was going to do and how we'd handle it. Maybe it wasn't fun at all, but it filled my head and I saw no reason to stop.
And then my sweet son literally said:
"How will I know where to go?! Will I go to the right or to the left?! How will I know what to do?!"
And I though of this verse, that a friend had said she'd been praying for me:
"And your ears shall hear a word behind you, saying 'This is the way, walk in it,' when you turn to the right or when you turn to the left." Isaiah 30:21
And the sweet and quiet trust that my son exibited when I told him I'd show him the way to go has corrected and encouraged my heart since that day.
Thank you Lord, for being a much better Father than I could imagine.