The Day I Got Fired From Our Church
Here’s the short backstory:
When we planted our church in Charleston in 2014, it was Nick’s thing. I mean, it was our family’s thing, but we were not planting together. I was hesitant but willing to be the pastor’s wife. I’d been a pastor’s wife, but never the pastor’s wife.
A few years in, Nick invited me to lead the church with him, which was the conversation I didn’t know I’d longed for. Slowly, the informal leading with him became incredibly formal, and after a while, I had what felt like two full-time jobs. At one point, I kind of had three. (Bright City, Go + Tell Gals, and our print shop - now closed)
Since 2019, however, I’ve “just” been leading Go + Tell Gals (as the founder + lead coach) and Bright City (as an unpaid staff member). And since 2019, we’ve had both endeavors in the same building - which has been a huge win. And both have meant the actual world to me.
But at the beginning of 2022, most wise people looking in on my life could sense that the grace I’d once had to lead both teams, to have my time and heart equally divided, was slipping away. And where the grace to do both was waning, anxiety and stress were widening.
And on one fateful day in May, after I’d burst into tears three times in Nick’s office, I came home to find him writing an email “firing” me. In truth: it was the most loving, affirming, and encouraging email anyone had ever written about me. He spoke life into my calling and honored the work I’d been able to do at Bright City. He directly prohibited anyone on staff from asking me to do anything, which made me giggle and feel so protected. He spoke life over Go + Tell Gals and where God was taking us.
For the first week, I felt sort of shocked and exposed: Who was I going to disappoint? How would the church keep moving forward without me? Who was I if I wasn’t overextended, and how much did I find my identity in being the girl who could carry two tremendous things? Could I still be fully dedicated to seeing the growth and renewal of the church if I wasn’t “on staff”
After the shock wore off, the peace set in, and suddenly I realized how many of those questions were prideful and self-focused. I was so focused on what I “needed” to do that I’d lost sight of what God could do.
And now, a little more than four months later, the fruit has continued to grow and be incredibly sweet.
I feel more focused and energized by my work at Go + Tell Gals than I could have imagined. I see how we’re working towards the renewal of the church at large by equipping and encouraging women to take their place in it. I feel more present in our church, more freed up to pastor and love people with genuine concern - since my brain and margin aren’t consumed by planning and strategizing for the church. I still get to lead in the ways God called me: teaching, praying, building community, serving… it’s just not in a staff role or way.
Lastly, my marriage is in a sweeter season than we’ve experienced for a long time. I’m STILL feeling loved by my husband, honoring who I was more than what I could do for him. We get to tell each other about our days instead of instinctively knowing everything that has happened. And I get to be his safe space again, not just his coworker or co-laborer in the gospel.
Why did I share all of this?
There’s only one reason: I want to encourage women who might need to quit something. We get it in our heads that ending a season or a role is only to be equated with failure or defeat.
But sometimes, saying “no” or saying “no more” is the most loving, worshipful, and obedient thing we can do. Maybe even saying “not in this way” and pivoting how we’re using our God-given gifts is what the moment calls for.
Whether it’s time for you to start something, keep going, or stop - I’m on your team and praying you sense God’s nearness and intention in your life today.
God is mighty in you,
Jess