Episode 4: What Was I Made For?

Welcome to our podcast– The Jess Connolly Podcast! 

This podcast is for you. It’s not my podcast, it’s ours. It’s for people who crave light-hearted conversations and deeply spiritual truths. It’s for those of us who are busy, tired, waiting, growing, dreaming, working, or praying about what’s next. 

Did you see The Barbie Movie? Did it give you big feelings? Are you avoiding it like Jess was? In this episode, we're talking all about women, the pressure we're under, the "political" tensions surrounding this movie, and why many of us feel like unlikely leaders.

Jess also shares her top tips for leadership, because spoiler alert: YOU are a leader, and invites you to join her "Leaders are Learners" book club. This is a don't-miss episode!

Let’s Go. 

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⁠Leaders are Learners! ⁠Join Jess’ book club ⁠here,⁠ where together you'll read transformative books together. You'll get insight into exactly how Jess is making shifts based on each book, insider info from the authors, and a space to call in and share your own thoughts on the podcast!

The Logos Bible Study app contains a powerful Bible study and sermon prep platform that allows you to study Scripture and consult commentaries, devotionals, Bible dictionaries, and more—all from your computer, tablet, or phone. You can get started with the Logos Bible Study app with an 10% off at www.logos.com/jessconnolly.

Episode Transcript:

Hey, friends, I'm Jess Connolly.

I'm an author, a coach, a Bible teacher and a local.

Church leader and I love talking to real people who know what it means to have.

Full lives, but also want to walk in abundance.

This podcast is for you.

It's not my.

0:18

It's ours.

It's for people who crave lighthearted conversations and deeply.

Spiritual truth.

It's for people who are busy, tired, waiting, growing, dreaming, working, or praying about what's next.

Wherever you're listening from, if it's quiet, mundane, or busy, I am praying for you.

0:39

And I'm.

So glad you're here.

Let's go.

What is today's podcast episode about?

Well, what's it not about?

So it's a little bit about the Barbie movie I.

0:54

Also really want to touch on why?

Our culture, it loves to fight about the role of women so much.

We're going to spend a little time discussing why so.

Many of us feel like unlikely or reluctant leaders, and then we're going to talk.

About what true leadership is or what we think it might mean.

1:12

And lastly, we're going to land on some details for our upcoming book club.

This is our podcast, and guess what?

So welcome to the Jess Comley.

Today we don't have a ton of definitive answers, but we have all the space we need.

To be curious about what it looks like for a woman of God.

1:30

To live fully awake to the call of leadership on her life.

If you're a woman listening to this.

It's for you.

If you're a man listening to this, we bless you and thank you for coming to hear some of our.

Let's go.

OK, I need.

1:47

To talk about the Barbie movie, listen if you loved it.

If you hated it, just hear me out if.

You refuse to see it.

I hear you, but I want to tell you.

Where I was at and really even set the scene for you of what happened when I went to go see it.

2:04

So I had heard it was amazing.

I had heard there was this incredible monologue by America Ferrera that I needed to hear.

Even my husband sat me down and said, listen, I know you're going to see the Barbie movie.

I know you're going to have feelings about it.

I can't wait to see it.

And I was like.

I don't know, guys.

2:19

I don't know that it's going to change my life.

I work with women all day long.

I work with women in leadership.

This is what I do all day.

Feels like it's going to sound like an old message that I already know, but what happened is this.

I was at the tail end of an exhausting week.

2:36

There was just no getting around it.

I had spoken twice in one day.

I had driven out of town for the speaking engagement and then stayed with some college friends, which was so fun.

And also I.

Probably stayed up way too late.

I'd had a huge photo shoot for the podcast.

2:51

I had been momming 4 kids in the middle of the summer, trying to get them all the places they needed to go.

People in our church were needing love and care and leadership and we're hurting.

And I kind of had this one.

Sliver of a day where I could relax and rest and recoup my soul before the next week began.

3:10

But what happened is that a few friends were like, hey, you going to see the Barbie movie, or do you want to get some friends together to see the Barbie movie?

And I'm gonna be really transparent and tell you I felt the obligation to organize this group of women.

Did they need me?

No.

Could they have all hung out together and done it without me?

3:26

Absolutely.

But because I'm a church leader, and because I'm a woman, and because I often bite off more than I can chew and I feel responsible for everybody else, I organized.

Us all to go see the Barbie movie on the way there.

It's raining.

People can't find parking.

I'm getting texts about that.

3:42

Of course it's a Barbie movie right after it comes out, so there's crazy long lines.

There's crazy long lines at concessions when we finally get 10 seats saved, which actually I think it was 12.

Do you know how?

Hard it is to save 12 seats at a movie theater for a sold out movie that doesn't have a signed seating.

It was the whole situation.

3:59

I said, oh, I need to escape for a second.

I'm going to go to the concession stand and get something to drink.

Can I get anybody else anything you can imagine what happened?

Fast forward a few minutes later I'm somehow holding like 10 cups of people's drinks and raisinets and buttered popcorn and all the things cuz I'm just trying to be a good friend.

4:17

I'm just trying to be a present friend.

But I'm also exhausted.

Everybody else is in cute Barbie clothes.

I'm in workout clothes and no makeup cuz I have nothing to give.

I get back to my seat.

The credits have already started.

I want to just sit down and relax, And I realized that I had forgotten to buy someone to drink that I had offered to go to the concession stand for, and I immediately burst into tears.

4:38

I mean, I'm a person who can access my emotion, but I don't.

Typically, like, lose it in front of a ton of people, but I just immediately started crying.

What I was feeling in that moment was like, I need to be at home.

I need to be.

I need to have taken a nap today.

This is too much.

4:54

I shouldn't have been able to handle it.

Of course, nobody was mad at me.

Nobody was frustrated.

In fact, a couple of my friends.

Noticed I was getting emotional and they were like.

Oh, it's OK.

It's OK.

Don't worry about it.

Don't worry about it.

I was like, no, it's, I'm, I'm fine.

I'm fine.

I gave the girl my drink.

I sat down in the dark and I.

5:09

Just cried.

This is before the movie starts, my friend Anna.

Who is also the director of Going Tell.

Gals was sitting beside me and she just gently reached her hand underneath the armrest and patted my leg because she knew if she like full unturned and hugged.

5:26

Me, I'd lose it.

She just kind of patted and I think she might have even said, like, it's too much, It's just too much.

She knew the week I'd had.

So I go into this movie already feeling the intense pressure of just being a human woman, just being a person who's trying to.

5:42

Love and show up for and care for people and I am someone who coaches other women to not.

Feel obligated to live fully awake to throw off expectations.

I am someone who.

Helps other people with this and still I'm feeling.

5:57

Crippled by the weight of it when I sit down to watch this movie.

And so to be honest, if I'm being.

Really clear with you guys after I saw the movie and I realized.

OK, there are all these Christians who don't like it, or there's all these people who don't like it.

For this reason or that reason, I could kind of look back and be like, oh, interesting.

6:13

I can kind of see some of that.

I see some of your arguments, but I wasn't even in that mind frame.

I was just so grateful to all of a sudden be in a place where someone else was acknowledging.

It is very overwhelmingly hard to be a woman right now.

There are so many expectations.

6:31

There are so many burdens.

And that is not to say that there are not so many burdens and expectations for men.

But I have such a heart for women, and I have such a heart for women who are living exhausted and sleepwalking through life because they're trying to.

6:38

There are.

And I pray somebody talks to them about it and.

Help everybody else.

So that's why the movie just hit me in such a tender place.

6:58

I listened to the monologue that of course everyone loves, and there were parts of it that hit for me in a crazy way.

I'm gonna read a little.

Bit of it.

If you haven't seen the Barbie movie, this is not a spoiler alert, but it is one of the most poignant parts of the movie and you've.

Probably already heard people talk about it, but it starts with saying it is literally impossible to be a woman.

7:18

I wanna give.

You a crazy spoiler alert.

The next few weeks we're gonna.

Release a podcast where I'm gonna talk about my upcoming book.

But I I'm just telling you like a fun spoiler alert right now.

The opening line of my next.

Book says every woman I know is exhausted.

And so for the opening line of this monologue to say it is literally impossible to be a woman.

7:36

I was like, yes, we're exhausted.

We're overwhelmed.

It's sometimes feels impossible, she goes on in the monologue.

To say.

You're you're so beautiful and so smart, and it kills me that you don't think you're good enough.

And I have.

To say I feel like I say that to so many women all the time, she goes on to.

7:56

Say it's like we always have to be extraordinary, but somehow we're always doing it wrong.

Again, yes and Amen.

Later on, she talks about.

You have to lead, but you can't squash.

Other people's ideas and I think.

That was the part where I went from gently crying to sobbing, because that's how I feel as a woman who has no choice at this point in my life.

8:16

But to lead.

And yet I feel like even just doing it, even just showing up to lead, I'm already disappointing people.

I don't know, man.

The movie got me.

I want to touch on the controversy.

I have to say again, I didn't even know there were people who didn't like it.

8:33

I didn't know there were Christians who didn't like it until I saw it.

And then I was like, oh, interesting, OK, let me listen to what they're saying.

One thing that I think is interesting that I talked to my team about is that I.

Heard a lot of criticisms about the Barbie movie saying.

It's so political.

It's so political and I actually had to start a conversation with my team and say, can someone explain to me what?

8:52

Was political about it?

And I do wonder if sometimes we use that word interchangeably.

Too often, if we say something is political and what we mean is it's intense or it's potentially divisive, or it needs comprehension, it needs compassion and it needs clarity.

9:10

Or maybe I don't even see it that way, but I didn't totally understand how the movie.

Was political.

But I did see how for a lot of people who don't understand the harmful effects of patriarchy in the church and in leadership and in culture.

Or maybe they live free of some of those effects.

9:28

By the grace of God.

Or maybe they don't feel them in their exact community.

I could understand how they'd be like, is this even a problem?

I'll also say what's interesting and this.

Was wildly just fascinating to me is that I watched the whole movie and my daughter had been to see.

9:43

It about a week before with some friends of hers and while I was watching it I thought, I wonder why my daughter.

Glory didn't have more feelings about it.

I wondered why she didn't talk to me more about it.

And then after the movie, I kind of had this hunch that maybe it was not AS.

9:59

Impactful for her, because in the grace of God and by the power.

Of the Holy Spirit.

She actually lives in a community where women are a lot more.

Free to use their God-given gifts to step into their calling, she is seeing that she's growing up in A.

Space where she does feel a lot more free to just be an ambassador of Christ in all the different ways that God's called her.

10:20

And when I got home that night, I walked up with my tear rimmed eyes and I was like.

GLOW, why didn't you tell me about the movie?

And she is so mature and so wise for her age.

And she said because it wasn't for me, it was for you.

And I was like, you're right and so I think that.

10:36

There is a possibility that for some of us, this movie hit differently in some ways than it hit for others.

And that's okay.

And I don't think that that makes it wrong.

I think it makes it a conversation starter and something that we can compassionately and curiously ask one another.

And so I'm just here to say, as a woman in leadership, as a woman in church leadership, as a woman in business leadership, there is no way that I can deny the effects of sexism and patriarchy and how they have been wildly damaging in my leadership, You.

11:07

Guys, actually last fall I was going to put out a.

Podcast episode about this and I just couldn't.

It was too tender and I wouldn't even know where to.

Start if I.

Started to tell you some of the things that have been said to me about me when I've been just honestly, truly trying to.

11:24

Obey God, trying to honor the call that He's placed in my life, and trying to be obedient to what he said to me if I if I told you some of those things, you would.

Gasp.

And so all that being said, it did hit a little bit different for me.

I didn't necessarily immediately.

See how it was political, but I could see how it was tender and how for some people it was maybe the messages were shocking.

11:47

Now I want to talk about one criticism that I've heard of the movie that I just.

I want to speak to because I have a really interesting perspective on it and you might not think it's interesting.

I think it's interesting.

So I've obviously heard the criticism that, you know, it's almost male bashing or it is male bashing.

Like they just want this Barbie world.

12:03

They don't want Ken's to be in power, they don't want men to be in power.

And I think even at the end of the movie, we see a tiny bit of hope and resolution here where they're saying like, it's actually not best for all women and all men to be in power.

It's actually better if we can work together.

But I think again, the point the movie was making is that in.

12:20

Most places there are leaders.

They are currently men right now.

And so we're trying to write some of that, but I want to tell you guys is what my life looks like, because it was interesting watching it and noting this.

I actually do live in a little bit of a Barbie world, and I want to be honest, at my church on staff.

12:36

My husband is the only male on staff.

I happen to work at Go and Tell Gals.

I get the honor of leading Go and Tell Gals.

And so I work with women all day, and I coach women all day, and I'm seeing some of this.

Really massive tide start to turn where women are being more equipped and empowered and the women in my community.

12:56

I honestly have to constantly remind them guys, it's.

It's not like this for other women, and I know.

That because I go to those churches and I speak there and I hear from them and I coach them and I hear they can't even imagine what it would.

Be like to have the freedom and the authority and the blessing that we're getting not only from God and from the other women, but from the men in our.

13:16

Lives before I sat down to record this podcast, my husband said.

Good job.

I'm proud of you, I said.

Thanks, babe, he said.

I want to hear.

I want to say it again.

I'm proud of you.

I know that's not common.

And actually, I watched the Barbie movie and there's a point where Ken is wanting to spend time with Barbie and he's like, hey, can I hang out tonight?

13:34

Can I stay over tonight or whatever?

And she's like, no, no, Ken, it's Girls Night.

And he's like every night is girls night.

And I honestly had such a gut moment of compassion for my husband because.

There's so many times that I've thought that he's probably like every night is girls night.

But he loves it because he knows that for the Kingdom of God to move forward and.

13:55

For the Church of Christ and move forward specifically here in the United.

States, we're going to have to see more women using their gifts because the Kingdom is made-up of 50% women and so we're going to need to see them represented in all varieties and in all spaces.

14:14

So that being said, I want to tell you as a woman who kind of lives in a.

Barbie world where I could spend all day talking to women.

Where I could spend all day talking to women in leadership, I want you to know.

I still want more men in leadership, specifically at my church.

I want to make space for them, and I don't think that means holding women back.

14:33

I think that means inviting them in and empowering them to take.

Their places too and I.

Want to work with men to bring God's Kingdom down to earth?

To see the gates of hell pushed back.

I don't want to do it with just women.

14:50

I want to see the redemption of us doing it together in humility and surrender to God.

So I might have a little bit of a.

Different perspective, because I do live in a Barbie world and I still.

Want to work with men?

15:05

I also just wanted to touch on this.

As we kind of segue out of Barbie and segue.

Out of the controversy or how you feel about it.

And I I want to just say, like I keep saying over and over again, this is the Jess Connolly podcast, but it's not just a space for me to air in my opinion.

So I want to.

Hear your different thoughts about this.

15:21

DM me or send me an e-mail.

Go to jessconnolly.com.

I want to hear what?

You have to say too, because my perspective is only my perspective.

And if I'm missing a piece.

Of it which is.

Very likely.

Probable I want to.

Hear other sides to it as well, but I really don't know a ton about this, so I'm not speaking on it in any way from an expert's opinion.

15:41

But I have seen like a couple reels on Instagram about the there's drama now with the Snow White movie.

There's a remake of the Snow White movie and people are really.

Upset because I guess one of the main actors in the Snow White movie.

Has said like we're changing it all.

It's not the story it used to be.

15:58

You know, she doesn't just want to fall in love, she wants to be a leader.

And actually she says like that's not the happy ending for her, you know, the happy ending for her is is being a leader and finding herself.

And I've seen.

A lot of people say, like, thank God, that's amazing.

And I've seen a lot of.

People say that's awful.

Like, how could you?

Why ruin Snow White?

16:15

And I actually have no comment on Snow White.

I have no comment on the story whatsoever.

I have no idea what's happening.

But what I want to talk about is why I think in general.

Our culture is constantly telling women what they're made for and yelling at them.

16:32

As they work that out and try to figure out what it means, and I have one answer.

The enemy is the enemy.

Media is not the enemy.

Hollywood is not the enemy.

Men are not the enemy.

Women are not the enemy.

The enemy of our souls actually wants both men and women to.

16:51

Stay asleep to their purpose, their calling, their desires, their God-given dreams and vision.

The enemy of our souls wants us to fight.

The enemy of our souls wants us to be.

So distracted by conflict that we never tap into Our Calling.

17:08

And I don't want to do it anymore.

I don't want to fight.

I want instead to come together and say like.

Hey, how does this feel for you?

What tensions do you feel about being a woman?

What tensions do you feel about being a man?

How can I listen with compassion and curiosity and grace, the same kind that my father moves toward me?

17:30

With, I don't know.

I just think in general, we're getting so distracted by the fight that we're missing out on truly figuring out what God is saying to.

Us, which is that he loves us.

17:46

That he called us, that he redeems us.

That he uses us for the good of others and for his glory.

That being said, it's not my.

It's our podcast.

I don't want to share a ton about my opinion.

But for the sake of us all being on the same page, I do want to set the record straight regarding what I believe women are made for.

18:11

I believe we're made to enjoy God and to glorify him.

That's taken from the Westminster Catechism that is based on Psalm 145.

I believe we're made to go and tell, and that's from John chapter 20, where Jesus commissions Mary Magdalene.

I believe we're pillars in the house.

18:27

Of the Lord like Psalm 140.

Four says.

I believe we're ambassadors of Christ, like Second Corinthians 5 says.

I believe we're clothed with strength and dignity.

We're commissioned to impact culture and the marketplace, and we can build beautiful cultures inside our home like Proverbs 31.

18:44

I believe that if we're married, we can be an incredible.

Asset to our husbands.

But I also believe that marriage isn't about us making our lives.

Better or easier?

It's about the Kingdom being better off.

When the two of us are together, I believe that we can be moms.

And it is.

19:00

Such a privilege and such a gift, but I don't believe it's the only place that we're called, and I do believe that many.

Of us have falsely believed it's the highest calling which is actually not inscription.

I believe we get to be daughters of the Most High God even before we're anything else, and I think that part of our identity.

19:19

Is the most important part, I think, once we've settled.

That everything else does start to fit in the right places a little more.

I believe that when freedom is legislated.

It's actually called legalism, I believe.

Holy Spirit is a great communicator, and humans often damage other humans when they make blanket statements about what biblical womanhood and biblical manhood looks like.

19:44

I.

Love the Bible.

I love God's word and I let it speak into the way I live and grow as a woman.

But I.

Believe it's harmful for me if I continually.

Put the way I interpret scripture on other women instead, I'd rather.

19:59

Them go to God's word.

And go to Holy Spirit, and go to the throne of grace and let.

The father illustrate what it looks like in their lives.

That's just some of what I think women are made for.

I don't believe we're tools.

20:15

I don't believe we're trophies.

I don't believe we're dolls.

I don't believe we're armed Candy.

I don't believe we all.

Have to be leaders.

I believe we probably all are leaders anyhow, because we are changing and shifting every single space we walk into.

20:32

Whether it's our home or our schools or a classroom where we teach.

Or a play date or the boardroom.

Or a hospital.

Or a church.

Or a park we are leading already we are shifting the.

20:47

Way other people experience the world and God.

So let's talk.

About the Facet of Our Womanhood.

Today, that is our leadership.

To be honest, this is not going to be.

An episode where I try to convince you that women can lead.

21:03

I don't have the energy or the time for that, and I don't believe God's asked me to do it.

But just in case you need some scriptural proof, I'm going to give you a bullet point list that I want you to.

Head to.

Here's just a quick laundry list of female leaders in God's Word, and it is not exhaustive.

21:21

For fun, you can look up Deborah, the Old Testament judge.

Or Priscilla from the New Testament, who was a church leader.

You can look up Esther, who was a queen who also saved her people from genocide.

Miriam, who was Moses's sister.

Who helped lead the exodus?

But she was also the first female prophet you can.

21:38

Look up Lydia, who is a wealthy businesswoman who also supported.

The early church Again, that list is not.

It's just the top I would encourage.

You to read their stories.

Here's something I want you to know about you my listener, my friend, This is.

21:54

Our podcast I talk about you a lot, and I talk about you in all the best.

I hope your ears are burning constantly and I hope you feel thought of and talked about when you listen to this.

Podcast, but one thing I noticed and I've kind of captured about the women that I've heard from who listened to this.

22:12

I've heard that a lot of you would consider yourself an unlikely leader, maybe even a reluctant leader, and this isn't a hard and fast rule.

22:33

But for a lot of us, I hear from a lot of you that you didn't maybe dream about it, and in fact you find yourself leading and you acknowledge that it's happening, but you?

There are some of you who might have grown up dreaming about being a leader, or dreaming about having an incredible meeting or setting the temperature in whatever organization you're in, or changing the.

22:44

Still feel incapable or you still feel unlikely and I want to just.

Say that is absolutely my story, too.

Until my early 20s, there is no one who would have called me a leader.

22:59

In fact, I was kind of just like the messy one of every group I was in when it finally happened that there was no more denying the fact that I had to lead mostly.

Because the way I describe it as I feel like God kind of dragged me into some spaces where I had to lead, and I would say yes to one small thing and one small thing, and then all of a sudden I'd find myself leading it when I did finally get to that place.

23:22

I always felt too loud, too emotional, too much and also not enough.

Not knowledgeable enough.

Not wise enough, not compelling enough.

I constantly felt like I couldn't help leading because I was in these.

Spaces where people were asking me to and at the same time I had no.

23:41

Idea how to do it, And that was honestly maddening.

If I could go back and encourage myself, or maybe even 10 years ago about my leadership, though, the number one thing I would encourage.

Myself with this is leadership is not going to look like you think it is one reason.

23:58

I always felt reluctant or unlikely to lead and one reason that I think even maybe.

Other people perceived that I was not a.

Good leader is because I am not buttoned up, I am not aloof, I'm not even always that tidy and so if I could go back and encourage Jess from 10 years.

24:15

Ago I would say, hey, it is totally OK that your leadership style is probably going to be a little bit more relational, a little bit more emotional, maybe even more vision driven and you don't need to.

Be so scared of that now.

24:31

At this point in my life, here is where I kind of stand I.

Really.

Really.

Really, Really.

Really, try not to spend my time doubting if I'm a good leader, or doubting if I'm.

Supposed to be a leader.

And that's not to say that the enemy doesn't still tempt me with those disbeliefs and those lies.

24:50

But the point is, at this point, I just don't have time for it.

I don't have time to wring my hands and stress that I'm not.

A good leader.

Because when I do that, I'm no longer growing to be the leader that I need to be.

And so if I spend all my energy just feeling insecure and feeling anxious about my leadership, I can't actually work on it.

25:10

I can't actually grow at it.

And I can't be humbled to say here's what I know and here's what I don't know.

Now let me move forward.

That being said, here's what I know about leadership.

I don't perceive that I'm ever going to.

Write a strict book on leadership.

But here's what I know at this point, and here's what works for me.

25:27

I think it might.

Work universally for a lot of women who find themselves leading.

I want to say again, if you're a mom, you're a leader.

If you are a Bible study teacher, you're a leader If you're a nurse.

You're a leader if you're a college student in a class.

25:42

You're a leader if you're a team member.

You're a leader because the way that you are showing up is impacting people, and it is leading people constantly.

It's leading them to either be more anxious or more secure.

It's leading them to be more excited or more defeated.

25:58

You're constantly leading people to be more of themselves.

Or to feel like they have to hold back.

So the question isn't whether or not you are a leader.

The question isn't even whether or not you feel.

Equipped to be a leader.

The question is, now that you know you are, now that you believe God's.

26:14

Place you where you're out on purpose.

How are you gonna?

Show up for his glory and the good of others.

Here are my top four leadership tips.

Number one, care about people.

You really cannot lead anyone if you don't care about people.

You can't get out of it.

26:30

And I think that again, this is where the enemy and maybe even.

Culture would tell us that you have to stop caring about.

People to move the ball forward, But I'm going to tell you right now, you will run people over and you will have your.

Own soul run over in the.

The Bible tells us you can gain the whole world and lose your soul.

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Don't do it.

Care about people?

Let yourself feel broken for them.

Be burdened for their problems.

Be moved.

When they tell you something.

Be excited for them.

Pray for them.

Think about them.

Care about people?

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#2 Care about what you're.

Leading the people to do.

And by this I kind of mean like care.

About the goal?

Care about what is the end vision for?

Where you're all heading, I go and tell cows I.

Care about our goals when I'm recording this?

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I care about you, the listener, but I also care that it impacts you and leaves you more and off God and actually feeling more capable at the end of it when I write.

A book I care at the end of the day that as many women as possible will read it and be impacted and will make moves that actually change and shift their life through the.

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You can't just care about people.

You have to care about people and the thing you're leading them to.

And I think sometimes, especially as women were.

Sold this idea that if we care too much.

About the goal that we're somehow then not caring and I would.

Say these are two ideas that the enemy wants to pit against each other.

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You can only care about people or you can only care about goals, and nobody said that.

Jesus.

Deeply cared about people as he ministered to them, and also he cared about coming to Earth to do.

The work God had for him.

You cared about both.

You can care about people, and you can care about the thing you are leading the.

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People to do #3.

You got to care about yourself and you got to care about your own health.

You just have to.

I spend my days coaching women and coaching women who coach women and I was actually telling a group of.

Future coaches yesterday I said I'm not worried about any of you being.

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I'm really worried that you're not going to take care of yourself along the way and I.

Actually have a lot of work to do in the coaching industry.

Because it happens that we can be really good at caring about people and we can often sometimes be really good about caring about.

Goals, but along the way we're not taking the time to take.

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Deep breaths to take care of our bodies, to take care of our minds to.

Take care of our spirits to take care of our relationships.

And you have heard every cliche in the book.

You can't pour out if you don't fill up.

You got to put on your oxygen mask first.

We know all the cliches.

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We're still just not.

Taking care of ourselves.

So to be a good leader, you have to care about that and #4.

You have to care about all of it growing.

You got to care about the people that you're leading, growing.

You have to care about the goal actually growing.

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You have.

To care about your own mental, physical, spiritual, health growing and not just paying attention to it and letting it be stagnant and noticing it all, But I want to just invite you into this truth.

It's godly.

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It's not bad to want.

That's why so much of scripture is Plant references God.

Wants you to grow.

He's giving you insight and vision about how to.

Do that go to John 15, basically all of the New Testament, but then also so much of the New Testament?

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Is metaphor after metaphor about vines and growth and plants and olive trees because?

God wants us to grow.

So this is what I've learned about leadership number one, care about people number.

Two, care about what you're leading the people to do.

Care about the goal. #3 Care about your own health and number.

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Four care about it all growing.

I don't think there's one communication style for leaders.

I don't think there's one motivation style.

I think you've got to find your own, I think any book you read.

That says do it exactly this way.

I would say put that book down the best thing I can offer.

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You is go get in the presence of God and let him speak.

To you about what kind of leader you?

Are about where you're taking the people you're leading about how you can take care of yourself along the way.

Now, that being said, we're going to segue into a very fun part of this podcast and I want to tell you that one way I care about my people and what we do, our goals and my health and all of it growing is by being a continual learner.

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And that's why we're implementing our new book.

Club called leaders are learners.

You've probably heard the phrase leaders are readers, and I totally agree.

And we are going to be reading books.

But I want to say leaders are actually learners because there is some humility and some hunger.

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In whatever it looks like for you to say I need help in this area, I have never been as proud of my team as I have been in the last week because in the last one week I have watched my team have two meetings where they've gone to other teams and said hey.

We would really love your insight and wisdom on this one thing that we're doing.

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Could you tell us everything you know and could we ask some questions of you?

And it made me so.

Proud of them, because I've watched them do big things and I've watched them hit goals and I've watched them reach people.

But I loved watching them mirror out this beautiful.

Side of leadership, which is saying we've we've got more to learn.

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I never want to should anyone.

I never want to tell anybody what they should be doing.

But I do want to say when I see a woman.

Who is healthily growing her own leadership?

Who is paying attention to the way God is using her in the world?

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One core defining characteristic that I seem to find in all of these women's lives is that they're learners.

They read books.

They don't just let information wash over them, but they come to it humbly, and they want to.

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Grow more and so that's why.

We are starting our leaders, our learners book club and here's how it's gonna go.

We are going to read about a book a month.

I'm oftentimes going to try to have the author on the podcast ask them some honest questions because.

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Last week we were with Kobe Campbell.

We're starting with her book, and we're also starting with her.

Book because if you listen to last week's podcast episode, you heard me say, it has been extremely powerful for me and life shifting and I am.

So grateful for it.

So if you want to read along with.

Us You've got two options.

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Number one, you can kind of do the casual version.

The casual version is you can hear me say, hey, we're reading this month Kobe Campbell's book.

Why am I like this?

Grab it on Amazon.

Get it on an audio book.

Get it at a bookstore.

Read along and listen to it.

You'll.

Hear me do a follow up episode in about a month.

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But if you're like, I don't know, man, I'm really.

Ready to be a leader who steps into the realm of learning?

You can actually sign up for a whole separate e-mail list, and here's what we're going to send you on that e-mail.

List it's all free.

We're going to send you just a sample reading plan.

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Basically like, hey, here's how I'm going to read this book this month.

These are the dates I'm going to try to hit each chapter on.

We're going to send an opportunity through this list.

For you to share what you're learning what I'd.

Really, really, really love is for some of you guys to send in emails or voice memos telling us what you learned from the book.

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And I want to put them on the podcast.

So we're going to give you an opportunity.

To share what you're learning from the book so that more women can not just hear my.

Perspective, but also yours.

And then lastly on this.

Private leaders or learners list.

I'm also going to share my biggest takeaways from the book and not just like, oh hey, I noticed this and it was helpful for me, but here is how I'm actually shifting my life based on that information I.

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Received leaders are learners.

You are a leader.

I liked the Barbie movie.

I hope you did too.

Whether you saw it or not, we can agree God loves women.

He's equipped us.

He's called us.

He moves.

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Toward us with compassion and grace and kindness.

And we get to be a part of bringing His Kingdom to earth.

In the name of Jesus, let me pray for us.

Father, I thank you for every woman and every man listening to this podcast.

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I thank you for their compassion and their.

Curiosity just to let me work out some thoughts, I thank you that we get to see even in scripture, men and women working.

Together to bring your glory and your good to more people.

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Father, we want to stop in the name of Jesus.

We want to stop debating.

Whether or not we're leaders, we want to stop engaging with the enemy in this lie that is distracting us and keeping us from using what?

We've got to bring you fame.

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Please help us to put on this mantle of leadership.

Because you've already put it on and.

Please help us to step into our role as continual humble, hungry learners for the sake of the Kingdom.

In Jesus name.

Amen.

Hey guys, if you want to sign up for our leaders or learners list, you can look in the show notes and.

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We would love to have you on that.

Let's go, friends.

I'm so grateful you listened to today's episode.

Thanks for spending time with me.

It would mean the world to me to connect with you.

35:58

So you can send me a DM on Instagram at Jess A Connolly.

Or head to my website, jessconnolly.com for more ways to connect if you have a minute to subscribe and leave a.

Review of the podcast wherever you listen it would.

Massively help us reach more people with a good news that they can.

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Live fully awake.

Let's go.