Episode 24: 10 Ways to Chase Down Joy

Feb 1

Welcome to our podcast– The Jess Connolly Podcast!

Do you take yourself a little too seriously? Jesus came to give eternal life AND abundant life, but many of us are MISSING that fullness because we're in heavy seasons. In this episode, Jess shares ten ways to chase down joy (have more fun). Sometimes, it’s hard to remember that life is for the living and not just the doing.

This episode is for all the women who could use practical tips about chasing down and choosing joy when life feels heavy. If you love having fun, you’ll love this episode. If you’re like me and a little more serious - you NEED this episode!

Let’s Go.

Don’t Miss:

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Episode Transcript:

Hey friends, I'm Jess Connolly.

I'm an author, a coach, a Bible teacher and a local church leader.

And I love talking to real people who know what it means to have full lives, but also want to walk in abundance.

This podcast is for you.

It's not my podcast, it's ours.

0:19

It's for.

People who crave.

Light hearted conversations and deeply.

Spiritual truth.

It's for people who are busy, tired.

Waiting, growing, dreaming, working, or praying about what's next.

Wherever you're listening from, if it's quiet, mundane, or busy, I am praying for you.

0:39

And I'm so glad you're here.

Let's go.

Here is what I think is true about you and me.

We know that deep peace and contentment only comes from Jesus.

We're not trying to build lives that are all about consumption or our happiness or our comfort.

1:00

You and me, we want to use what we've got for the good of others and the glory of God.

We want to serve our communities.

We want to serve our families.

We want to build something eternal.

We're not trying to put up curtains in a house that's burning down.

And by that I mean you and I are not only living for ourselves and our temporal excitement, but Jesus didn't come just so that we would have eternal life.

1:24

He also came that we might have abundant life.

And I have this hunch about you and I Kingdom women that you and I are.

We can sometimes take ourselves a little bit too seriously.

Sometimes it's hard for us to remember that life is for the living and not just for the doing.

1:44

So this episode is for all the women who could use some practical tips about chasing down and choosing joy when honestly, our lives feel really heavy.

If you love having fun, you're going to love this episode.

But if you're like me and you're a little more serious, you might need this episode.

2:05

Let's go.

Hey friends, Jess here.

Listen, you might remember that a couple of months ago when we relaunched this podcast as Jess Conley Podcast, we talked a lot about how we wanted to focus on living fully awake.

2:22

So we want to live fully awake spiritually.

We want to live fully awake mentally.

We want to live fully awake emotionally.

We want to live fully awake in our relationships and in our callings and in our jobs.

And we want to use everything that we've got for the good of others and the glory of God.

But I want to just be honest with you and tell you that something that has robbed me of the capacity to live fully awake is my personal, natural tendency to take everything a little bit too seriously.

2:51

I've been this way since I was a kid.

Honestly, any story my parents tell me about my childhood and I things I remember from my own childhood or even being in middle school or high school, I always took everything really seriously.

And I've always been thinking about what are the problems that need fixing and how we need to take care of everybody else and what needs to get done next.

3:12

And I'm kind of a natural coach and a strategist, and I'm not always like the natural, fun girl in the room.

And a few years ago, I came across Ecclesiastes 3.

And all of us love the first part of Ecclesiastes 3.

There's a time to plant, there's a time to harvest, there's a time to laugh, there's a time to mourn, There's a time to dance.

3:33

All of these different things.

But the second-half of Ecclesiastes 3 really messed with me.

And here's what verses 9 through 13 say.

What do people really get for all their hard work?

Seen the burden God has placed on us all.

Yet God has made everything beautiful for its own time.

3:50

He has planted eternity in the human heart.

But Even so, people cannot see the whole scope of God's work from beginning to end.

So I concluded, there is nothing better than to be happy and enjoy ourselves as long as we can.

And people should eat and drink and enjoy the fruits of their labor, for these are gifts from God.

4:08

Now, this wisdom from Solomon about how the world works is not necessarily written to us as a part of God's word, but it is written for us as a part of God's Word.

And so when I read this passage and I hear he has planted eternity in the human heart, I'm like, yes, this is me.

4:26

I think about eternity all the time.

I think about life and death and what's happening and where we're all going and what's the point of it all.

But I don't necessarily like the other side of that wisdom that is like, hey, some of this is so big, too big for you to even grasp.

4:42

And so sometimes you're just gonna have to enjoy what God's given you to enjoy.

Sometimes you're just gonna have to take a deep breath and eat and drink and laugh to the glory of God because it's all too big for you.

So that being said, the last few years I've kind of turned and pivoted some of my strategizing, coaching skills on myself and I've started getting really strategic about scheduling and inputting joy.

5:10

Now for some of you, that sounds counter intuitive.

You're like you can't schedule joy, you can't, you can't strategize it.

But for somebody like me, the way that my brain works, that's honestly the only way it's going to happen.

My default is not going to be to, like, laugh and soak it up and cancel plans and be spontaneous.

5:27

So I'm going to have to use my God-given gifts of strategy and intentionality to say, like, hold on.

This is a moment for just soaking up the world, Soaking up what God's given us to enjoy not consuming it carelessly, but enjoying where we've been placed in life and the the exact moment.

5:46

So today I have 10 quick little tips for you if you are a person who also needs to really practice joy.

And again, if you love having fun, you're gonna love all of these ideas.

And some of them, you're gonna be like, Oh my gosh, I can take this even a little bit further and I want you to share those with me.

6:04

But if you were like me, and maybe you tend to take yourself a little bit too serious, maybe you get bogged down.

And honestly, just what is serious?

What is heavy and hard about your life?

Maybe if you're in a season where all of it seems insurmountable and you feel like all you do is work and take care of other people and get through the day, I have a feeling at least one of these tips is going to be life giving for you.

6:28

So I've got 10 ideas.

Not every single one will be for you, but I want to encourage you to listen to all of them.

And in the name of Jesus, here's my massive encouragement.

Please do not play devil's advocate #1.

If you are a person who consistently finds yourself playing devil's advocate, the first thing I want to say is why do you want to advocate for the enemy?

6:48

Don't do that, #2 I just want to say I do think that it's something maybe not as fruitful and not as godly in US.

I'm saying in us because I have the tendency to do this too, that maybe wants to be critical or squash other people's idea of joy or fun.

7:06

So if you hear an idea and you're like, that's so stupid or that would never work or that's not for me, notice that and say like, oh, interesting.

That's not for me, but I wonder what is for me.

But I'm giving you all of these warnings because this is something that I would maybe have felt or thought if I listen to this podcast episode a few years ago.

7:24

And I want growth for all of us.

So I've got 10 ideas for you.

I will tell you, all ten of these ideas are things that I'm trying and or have tried.

So #1 is this.

This is the life hack that I honestly feel like has brought a lot of joy and color and beauty and even maybe like presents to my life the last few years.

7:47

Make a playlist for maintenance moments.

If there's a part of your life right now that just feels like maintenance, you're having to get through it.

It's tedious, it's heavy, it's hard.

It's frustrating.

There's nothing life giving about it.

I want you to make a playlist just for that moment.

8:05

So here's my equation of that.

A couple of years ago, I noticed that I was in the season of life that I was really in for about four or five years where I was in the car constantly, specifically taking my kids to and from places, just constantly in a car.

8:21

I don't love driving.

I don't love traffic.

This was not a part of motherhood.

That was life giving for me.

And so the kids and I started making seasonal playlists.

So I think it started maybe in like fall 2019 and we were like, hey, let's make a Fall 2019 playlist.

8:37

And then in the thick of the pandemic with, we were like, OK, let's make a spring 2020 playlist, let's make a 2020 summer playlist, and we would work on it together.

Now, my kids and I had fun with it, and everybody got to suggest ideas, but we also gave people vetoes.

So everybody got one good Veto if somebody put something on the playlist that we hated.

8:56

So you could do something like that with a community of people, but also, if there's just a part of your life that's feeling heavy right now, I just want to encourage you to make a playlist.

Now here's the fun caveat for the playlist.

If you are a person who leans towards more like melancholy or deep thinking or introspection, I would encourage you to maybe not make a playlist that is going to exacerbate some of those feelings, but maybe, like get you out of the deeper feelings.

9:23

Get you out of the doldrum.

So make it a little bit lighter than you think you would.

Make a playlist for maintenance moments.

All right #2 y'all.

It's just science.

Don't get mad at me.

Don't shoot the messenger.

We need to be taking walks, All of us.

9:39

If we live in 0° temperatures, if it's raining, if we have kids at home, if we work full time, if we're students, if we work somewhere.

We never see the light of the light of day.

We need to be taking walks.

9:55

It's science.

It's biblical.

We need to be like touching grass, seeing vitamin D, even if it's a Gray winter sky.

If it's two minutes, if it's 20 minutes.

I want to encourage you, if you're not a person who's taking kind of rhythmic walks, try and see how you can.

10:12

I'm not in a season of my life where I can take 30 minutes, 60 minute, 90 minute walks.

But during the day, if I can get out, you know, in the middle of meetings and go walk around the block real quick, I will.

Sometimes what I have time for is to go stand on the sidewalk in front of my house and face the sun and just do that.

10:28

I don't even take a walk.

But a lot of times, like right at the end of my work day, or if I've been shuttling kids around and I'm about to start making dinner with my husband, we'll say like, hey, let's just go around the block and we'll take 6 minutes and walk around the block and clear our heads and just kind of reset.

10:43

So #1 make a playlist for maintenance moments, #2.

Take walks #3 I hope that this is something we all already do.

If we don't, can I hand you this?

You need some freedom to wear headphones when you're doing chores.

11:04

I don't care if you're watching Netflix while you fold laundry.

I don't care if you're listening to music or a podcast or an audiobook while you do the dishes.

They can be old, like corded headphones from 1989.

I don't think those will, actually, And most smartphones, but you know what I'm saying?

11:19

They don't have to be new fancy headphones, but you need to use headphones when you're doing your chores.

Sometimes.

I'm not saying totally disengaged from the people in your home and in your community, but I do want you to know that there are moments in my house, specifically on Saturdays, when I'm in the thick of family chores, where I joke that our house will look like a silent disco.

11:40

If you've never been to a silent disco, I haven't either.

But it sounds fun, where everybody puts on headphones and they're dancing to their own thing, and for about two hours on a Saturday, that's a little bit what my house looks like.

Sometimes.

I'm powering through laundry, I'm getting through dishes, I'm making the meal plan for the week ahead.

I'm organizing a different part of my bedroom or the kids rooms, or throwing stuff away or processing our recycling.

12:02

And while I'm doing that, I'm watching some stupid TV with headphones on and my phone nearby.

And if that is not something you already do, I would like to hand you that as a potential tool for just bringing a little levity and a little joy into what can feel like a maintenance moment as well.

12:20

Number 4, you guys have heard me talk about it before and if you haven't when you read Tired of Being Tired, my new book that comes out in April, you are going to hear more about this.

But I would like to advocate, if you have never tried it, for watching TV in the shower.

Now listen, this takes a little fine tuning.

12:37

You have to find a safe space where your phone is not going to get wet.

But when you go in for that once a week, everything shower.

I don't know if you guys know about the practice of an everything shower, but it's like this luxurious moment where women just get to take an everything shower.

Men, if you're listening to, you can do an everything shower too.

12:55

But if I'm taking an everything shower, I'm going to dry brush.

I'm going to shave.

I might exfoliate, I might do a cleansing hair mask.

I'm going to just really take my time now.

If I'm doing an everything shower, I'm taking it too far.

You guys.

I'm going to take a giant cup of ice, and I'm also going to stand in the shower and chew ice because that's life giving for me.

13:15

But I'm also going to have my phone just out of the water's reach, watching a little TV and laughing it up and bringing a little joy and levity to a moment.

Now here's my caveat for watching TV in the shower.

You can't do it every single time you shower because there is this beautiful thing that our brain does in the shower where scientists have said, like, we can access all of these deep thoughts in our subconscious.

13:37

And it's where we come up with good ideas and where it's where we notice our feelings.

So my personal role is that I do watch TV in the shower, but I can't do it for every shower.

I can do it like every other day or once every three days, something like that.

But I do need that kind of like subconscious time for my mind trying to come back to myself.

13:55

All right, we've got make a playlist for maintenance moments.

Take walks.

Wear headphones during your chores.

Maybe try watching TV in the shower.

Speaking of that everything, shower #5.

Try a homemade beauty DIY.

14:11

Here's what I love about this.

I'm not saying go get a bunch of face masks.

I'm not saying use gold under eye patches.

I'm not saying you need to go to the spa.

I'm saying have you ever tried coffee grounds as a body exfoliant?

Have you ever grabbed that old bottle of apple cider vinegar from your fridge and done a little rinse for your hair?

14:32

Google or look on Pinterest.

See what can I do with honey and yogurt for my face, but find some ingredients in your kitchen and do a little homemade beauty.

DIYI love this tip for just practicing Joy #1 because it kind of like kicks the enemy in the teeth and says like, hey, I can take care of my body.

14:51

I can practice a little autonomy over my skin and over this body that I've been given to steward, but also it kicks the enemy in the teeth and says like, I don't need to spend a bunch of money to take care of my body.

This isn't about consumption and capitalism for me.

This is about using the resources God has given me to also just care for my flesh.

15:10

We're going to take a quick break and then I'm going to come back with five more tips for practicing and inserting joy into your everyday life.

I hear from people all the time that getting time in God's Word and really soaking in God's Word is difficult, that it's hard to incorporate into your schedule.

15:32

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15:50

As we're driving around town, as we're preparing meals, as we're folding laundry, as we're going on walks.

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Here is why I'm obsessed with the Dwell app.

You can not only pick different plans and different parts of the Bible to listen from, but this is also a listening app where you have so many different options.

16:14

You can pick which version of the Bible is reading to you.

You can pick which voice.

I have to say my favorite is Ryan.

You can pick which sounds you hear in the background.

Maybe it's nothing, maybe it's the ambient sounds.

And again, of course, you can totally pick the content of which plan you are going to be listening to of God's Word.

16:35

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16:53

You are going to love soaking in God's Word and living your day more connected to His truth, his presence, his power.

I can't wait to hear how it changes the game for you guys.

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18:16

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19:18

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20:45

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All right, we are back.

I have five more fun little tips for inserting and practicing joy in your everyday life.

21:03

This one is also free.

You can do it in a physical way.

You can do it on Pinterest.

You can do it on your computer.

You can do it however you want.

But I want to encourage you to make a mood board of how you want your year to feel.

Now, we're near the beginning of the year, but if you wanted to try this in July, if you wanted to try it at the beginning of the year, when you have your birthday, that kind of new year for yourself, whatever it is, I want you to just make a fun little mood board.

21:30

Actually, I end up usually doing it at the beginning of the start of the calendar year and the start of whatever birthday year I'm starting.

But I usually start on Pinterest.

Then maybe I'll move those off Pinterest and onto a little digital mood board that I make on Canva, that I make the background of my phone, Something like that.