Episode 17: The 7 Shifts That Changed My Life

Welcome to our podcast– The Jess Connolly Podcast!

This podcast is for you. It’s not my podcast, it’s ours. It’s for people who crave light-hearted conversations and deeply spiritual truths. It’s for those of us who are busy, tired, waiting, growing, dreaming, working, or praying about what’s next.

You may ask yourself, Do we really need another book on rest? Is a book going to help if you are exhausted and there’s nothing in your life you can quit? Will rest help when you feel like you’re in a debilitating or painful season? Do you already feel bad about how much you work or how full your life is? Does it sound exhausting to be told unrealistic ideas about fighting your own fatigue by someone who couldn’t possibly understand your life?

If you’re asking these questions, this episode is for you. On today’s episode, Jess reads portions of ⁠Tired of Being Tired,⁠ shares surprising behind-the-scenes, and details on free gifts we’re giving away to people who preorder ⁠Tired of Being Tired. ⁠

Let’s Go.

Don’t Miss:

Pre-order one copy of ⁠Tired of Being Tired⁠ and get the audiobook for free (when it’s released), you’ll also get access to ⁠Real Rest Now,⁠ an exclusive podcast series for tired women. 

If you're looking to start 2024 by creating a habit of prayer, pick up a 6-month or 12-month prompted prayer journal from ⁠Val Marie Paper,⁠ you can use the code JESS10 to get 10% off your purchase through the end of the year! 

Love our podcast? Then we know you’ll love the ⁠GoodHard Story Podcast with Katherine Wolf⁠. Sit in on candid conversations with Katherine, the Hope Heals team, and some beloved guests as they work out what it means to wholeheartedly live a good/hard life.

The Logos Bible Study app contains a powerful Bible study and sermon prep platform that allows you to study Scripture and consult commentaries, devotionals, Bible dictionaries, and more—all from your computer, tablet, or phone. You can get started with the Logos Bible Study app with an exclusive offer for listeners of the “Jess Connolly Podcast”. Visit ⁠www.logos.com/jessconnolly⁠ to learn more

Episode Transcript:

Hey friends, I'm Jess Connolly.

I'm an author A.

Coach, A Bible teacher and a local church.

Leader and I love talking to real people who know what it means.

To have full lives but also want to walk in abundance.

This podcast is for you.

It's not my.

0:17

Podcast.

It's ours.

It's for people who crave light hearted conversations and deeply spiritual truth.

It's for people who are busy, tired, waiting, growing, dreaming, working, or praying about what's next.

0:33

Wherever you're listening from, if it's quiet, mundane, or busy, I am praying for you.

And I'm.

So glad you're here.

Let's go.

Do we really need another book on rest?

Is a book going to help you if you're exhausted and there's nothing in your life you can actually?

0:54

Quit.

Will rest help you when you feel like you're in a debilitating or painful season?

Do you?

Already feel bad about how much you work?

Or how full your life is.

Does it sound exhausting to be told unrealistic ideas about fighting your own fatigue by someone who couldn't possibly understand your life?

1:18

Hey, I'm Jess, and if any of this sounds familiar, I wrote Tired of being tired for you.

In today's episode, I'm going to read some portions of the.

Book to you, tell you some behind the scenes truth you might not expect to hear, and I'm also going to share a little.

Bit about the free gifts I'm giving away to.

1:35

People who pre-order the book if you're tired and if you're ready to.

Stop being tired.

This episode is for you.

Here's the deal guys.

Before I wrote Tired of being tired, I read every single book about rest I could get my hands on.

1:53

And the truth is.

I still felt exhausted and the.

Real.

Real.

Real behind the scenes, Truth is.

I still sometimes feel exhausted now.

I still get tired.

I have tried really hard to consider you, to consider what your life is like, to consider all different kinds of seasons, and you'll see that in tired of being tired.

2:14

Of actually featured the stories of real women, and I had a real women in all different seasons.

Read the book as I wrote it, rather than trying to convince you that I understand your life and that I get where you're coming from.

I thought I would just tell you a little bit about where I'm coming from right now.

2:32

I'm 39.

I'm married.

To a pastor with four kids, I run a small business.

I lead my church with our husband.

I travel to write and teach.

I lead a team of five women and I'm trying.

To be a whole person in the midst of all that.

I have got struggles just like you, financial and spiritual and health struggles.

2:54

But.

I got serious about rest and really, more than anything, I got serious about not wanting to live.

Tired.

About two years ago, I wrote.

Tired of being tired?

You've probably.

Heard me talk a little bit about it and what I really want to tell you.

3:10

Is the seven major shifts that happened in my life.

As I researched and wrote, tired of being tired.

That absolutely changed everything for me.

You actually won't necessarily find these in the book.

They're kind of written into it, but I wanted to.

3:27

Share them explicitly with you and then I thought I would just read some quotes from the book that'll show what I mean.

Before I tell you about these seven shifts, I want to.

Just tell you about the pre-order gifts.

That's my best Oprah voice when you pre-order a copy of Tired of being tired?

3:45

Here's the deal about pre ordering books if you've never heard an author.

Talk about it.

Here's why it matters.

We love when our readers pre-order A.

Book because it tells booksellers like Amazon and Target and Barnes and Noble.

That this is a book that women want and.

4:00

When you tell those retailers that number one, it changes the algorithm, because we know we all live on an algorithm.

So it shows that book to more people, more women like you who are tired and need to.

Hear about God's realistic rest, and I will tell you right now I I unashamedly want as many women as.

4:19

Possible to read this book because I want as many women as possible.

To experience God's grace and goodness that comes in the.

Form of realistic rest.

I want them to stop feeling like they.

Have to live exhausted, so it would mean the world to me if you would pre-order one or. 2 copies of the book.

4:40

And to incentivize you to do that, I'm giving you free.

Gifts.

So here's the deal.

When you pre-order one copy of Tired of being tired from anywhere, anywhere you want to order it from, I am going to give you the audio version of the book.

For free, so as soon as it's ready, as soon as it's completely recorded and.

5:00

Edited hopefully before the book even comes out.

You will get the audio version of the book so you pre-order a physical copy.

It's great it sits on your coffee.

Table.

You share it with a friend.

You read it.

But you'll also get the audio version and in the audio version I'm gonna.

Add a lot of bonus content and.

5:17

A lot of fun little extras.

So number one, you're automatically going to get that when you pre-order one?

Physical copy of the book.

On top of that, though, here's the thing, because the audiobook isn't exactly ready right now as of the time I'm recording this episode, I wanted you to have something else immediate to help you.

5:34

Because when you're already tired, you need relief.

Right now, I don't want you to have to.

Wait till April or until the book comes out.

To help you and so I've recorded.

An exclusive podcast series called Real Rest Now and the Only way you can get.

Access to real REST now is pre ordering one.

5:50

Copy of the book I interviewed some of my my favorite women from.

All seasons of life.

All walks of life and I asked them just honestly.

About their fatigue, about their exhaustion, about what helps them and we just.

Go back and forth to have some honest conversations and some.

6:08

Practical help that I pray will encourage you immediately, as soon as you listen to it.

So you pre-order one copy of the book?

You get the audio book of tired of being tired.

For free and you also get access to real rest.

Now the.

Exclusive podcast series as soon as you tell me.

6:25

That you pre-ordered the book here is another fun little bonus.

If you pre-order 2 copies of the book, if you're like, you know what?

I want to read this with a friend.

I want to read it with a spouse.

I want to read it with my mom.

I want to read it with my daughter.

I want to read it with the woman from my church when you pre-order. 2 copies of the book you get one month free of a new coaching community that my husband Nick and I are starting together.

6:50

In January 2024, our new coaching community is going to be called.

Life, school and over the course.

Of a year.

We're going to talk through how to create margin and set a sustainable pace in your life.

We're.

Going to talk about everything under the sun and when you join Life School you get one free coaching session with us a month that's live and then we're also doing something called.

7:14

Office hours where we'll just hop on Zoom and anyone who's part of Life school can come together and we can work on some of these issues together and do some live Q&A.

Et cetera.

It's going to be incredible.

We are so excited about life School.

It's going to run all year long, but you get one month free when you pre-order 2.

7:31

Copies of Tired of being tired.

So here's the deal.

Go to jessconnolly.com slash Tired of being tired?

And that's where you enter your pre-order information to go ahead and get information about getting the audiobook.

For free, getting access to real REST now and getting access to one month.

7:48

Free of life?

School.

So go to jessconnolly.com slash.

Tired of being tired?

And that's where you enter your information so that I can give.

You all these incredible pre-order gifts.

Let's take a quick break, and then I'm going to tell you about the seven shifts that absolutely changed my life while I was writing this book.

8:10

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8:49

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9:06

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Pick up a beautiful and intentional gift for anyone on your list this season, just for Jess Connelly podcast listeners.

Use the code Jess 10 to get 10% off your purchase through the end of the year.

9:27

Go to shop dot valmariepaper.com and.

Use the Code Jess 10 Podcast Friends, can I tell you about one of my favorite podcasts, my friend Catherine.

Wolf hosts the Good Hard Podcast In some way or another, we're all living lives that we never imagined living.

9:50

They're full of detours and unmet expectations and Plan BS or Plan C and Plan D My friend Catherine suffered an out of the blue stroke at age 26, and she's been living with lifelong disabilities ever since.

She knows a thing or two about an off script.

10:08

Life through the Good Hard Podcast You've got a seat at Catherine's table.

As she shares her hard won experiences on surviving and even thriving within her constraints, Catherine and her amazing guests let us in on how they've developed emotional agility, found purpose in their pain and become better after being broken.

10:31

We believe the good story and the hard story can be the same story.

You're going to love my friend Catherine and her amazing.

Podcast.

All right, we're back and I'm going to get into.

These shifts that really absolutely changed everything for me in the process of researching and writing.

10:52

Tired of being tired again.

You won't find these written explicitly in the book, it's more just kind of behind the scenes honest information.

About what changed the game for me.

So here's number one.

I stopped letting shame about my fatigue keep me from fixing it.

11:11

I don't know.

About you.

But the hardest part about being tired is I feel bad about being tired.

The hardest part about being exhausted and overwhelmed is that I'm pretty sure it's my fault, and the more.

I researched God's Word and other sources.

11:27

The more I found we are.

Tired because we live under the effects of a fallen world.

We are tired because we're human.

We're tired because we live in the.

Current Year of Our Lord 2023 or 2024, depending on when you're listening to it.

That is actually not our.

11:43

Fault, But we can't also let our shame and guilt about our.

Fatigue keep us from fixing it, so now I want to just.

Read you a quick excerpt.

I'm tired of being tired about this.

Shame that I think a.

Lot of us feel you and I, we're smart women.

12:00

We know when something is up, when there's something fishy going on.

So often shame has LED us to believe this is our problem and that something is wrong with us because we can't seem to figure it out instead of feeling grieved over our exhaustion and using our energy.

12:16

To fight our fatigue, we felt ashamed, and that has kept us from figuring out its root.

Cause I feel like I'm tired because I've taken on more than I should have.

I believe I'm tired because I'm not as strong as the women around me.

I think that maybe I'm tired because my rhythms or boundaries.

12:32

Are off.

I feel like I'm tired because I scroll on my phone instead of sleeping.

I could be tired because of my autoimmune disease, my kids and the deadline that's coming up.

But my friends who are tired, I certainly don't feel like their.

Fatigue is their fault.

My friend Lindsay doesn't have anxiety ridden sleepless nights like me, but she's mothering A medically fragile child who needs round the clock care.

12:55

My Co worker Emily isn't a wife or a mom, but balancing multiple.

Freelance clients to build her career leaves her feeling like she has to bring the candle at both ends.

Another friend, Anne, is an empty nester who thought she'd be in a season of rest by now, but finds herself watching her grandkids almost full time.

13:11

She doesn't want to live a tired life, but she does want to show up for her family.

How in the world is she?

Supposed to pursue both?

Are single moms to blame?

For how tired they are, should college age girls feel shame about the pace that's expected of them to perform and live up to the?

13:26

Pressure they feel when you think.

Back to the past seasons of your life and see your own fatigue is your assumption that it's all your fault.

Looking at all this data and taking a step back, maybe you and I can put.

Our very wise heads together use the power of the Spirit that raised Jesus Christ from the grave and ask some important questions.

13:50

Why is the enemy of our?

Souls targeting the energy of women.

Why is every woman we know experiencing fatigue on a deep?

Soul level?

What if the guilt cycle we get stuck in about our own exhaustion is a ploy to keep us from figuring out what is truly fatiguing us?

14:11

What will happen if?

We start to look at this from a spiritual.

Practical and realistic perspective.

Why are we so tired?

How did we get this way?

What does God say about it and what will?

Actually help?

We're tired of saying we're tired.

14:27

We're tired of being tired.

We're tired of feeling tired.

Jesus didn't purchase our freedom for a life.

Of fatigue.

So there has got to be more than an endless cycle of exhaustion.

I pray that felt like a breath of fresh air for you, and hopefully a huge dose of grace if you 2 have felt shame about your.

14:47

Fatigue.

Here's the 2nd big shift that I experienced.

I finally started asking questions about my fatigue.

What kind of tired am I?

Where did this come from?

What is causing it instead of just saying like?

15:02

Oh, I'm so tired.

Or saying like, oh you know I'm tired but.

Busy, but good.

I started asking questions about like why, where, how, and what is happening in my body and my spirit and my mind and my emotions to make me feel this way.

So in the book I'm going to read a quote in a second.

15:20

But in the book I tell this story about my son Benjamin, and how when he was four, we had our next.

Baby, we had our 4th kid, Cannon.

But when Cannon was born, Benjamin was kind of having like a little emotional hiccup.

And we couldn't.

Really figure out what was going on, but we figured it was the new baby and I had a friend give me this.

15:40

Incredible advice as a mom and she.

Said Hey, if you're asking him how he feels and he can't describe it, ask him If he feels any of this in his body, ask him like.

If his body hurts.

And so sure enough.

My sweet little four year old was telling me like actually, yeah, I am sad, I am scared and it's it's making my back.

16:01

Hurt and I was like oh babe, tell me more and the more my sweet little 4 year old told me about it, he said.

It makes my back.

Hurt that you had AC section, that they had to cut you open and once, he said.

That I realized like oh, he is having.

Some very real fear, but he is expressing it in a different way.

16:20

He's feeling it in a different way and I think the thing about you and I is that a lot of times maybe.

Our hearts are tired from emotional fatigue.

Or maybe our minds are tired from mental overwhelm.

Really is our bodies, but it's manifesting in some other way.

16:37

And so, in tired of being tired, I'm going to walk.

You through this to help you find the.

Source of your fatigue.

But here is a quick quote about that.

The pain of your fatigue, a saturation point where it manifests itself as tension in your life, is telling a bigger truth and it's something we need to pay attention to and address.

16:59

We need to ask individually where does it?

Hurt Where are you Tired to tears?

Where has the exhaustion become unbearable?

But for us to experience lasting healing from the fatigue we've been carrying our.

17:17

Whole lives.

We'll also have to dive deeper into the source of the pain, knowing that the source of the injury may not be the same as the sight of the irritation.

To stop living tired, we have to know where we're tired and why.

17:33

Here's the third big shift that happened in my life as I researched and wrote.

Tired of being tired, I began to repent from my over responsibility.

This is my story, and it might not be yours.

It might not be the main reason that you're tired, but for me.

17:50

This was it, to be totally honest.

This is still it for me as I find myself.

Tired.

It's almost.

Always because I have committed or said yes, or shown up or lived in a way that was rooted in.

18:08

A lie that I am more responsible than God.

Now, however, I can hear and I can see when I'm trying to be God or trying to take over his responsibility.

And I can confess and I can repent, and I can receive.

18:24

God's rest, if this sounds like this might be you.

Honestly, this is a huge sign.

Of spiritual fatigue.

So now I'm going to read a quote from the book.

About spiritual exhaustion, which honestly is one of the places that I think most of us don't pay attention to.

18:43

Spiritual exhaustion grows when we begin.

Trading God's care for our obligation and we.

Trade God's grace for earning our love, and we trade God's abundance for just getting through the day.

If this is the case in your life, we will need practical ways to embody our identities as daughters who've been purchased into His family, knowing our place in the Kingdom is the antidote to.

19:10

Spiritual exhaustion because daughters don't have to work to earn their place, Strive to stay relevant.

Or work for their rest.

I've written previously about how different women.

View or Picture God when they worship him, And I've told a.

Story about how I used to imagine Jesus and me riding on a horse in the woods, whooshing past trees in pursuit of some enemy our.

19:34

Talks weren't quiet or reflective, they were shouting and encouraging.

But he and I always seem to be on the go, pushing and fighting and taking new land around the time I.

Started to struggle with my sleep.

Holy Spirit began giving me a new picture of the embodied Jesus and me spending time together.

19:54

I could almost picture him tying up our.

Horses to a tree while I found somewhere to sit and with a smile on his face he'd say.

Why were you riding so?

Fast Where were you?

Going I want to invite you to sit with Jesus by the tree.

20:12

Maybe it's time for us to unlearn some patterns of pushing and embrace a season of remaining in his presence of.

Course the rhythms will peruse as we investigate spiritual rest.

Won't be as tangible as getting sleep or saying no to new obligations.

20:29

Still, I know we'll experience healing and hope surging into our souls.

I think there's so much hope for those of us.

Who might not know that we're actually spiritually exhausted?

And that there's rest for us in his presence here is the 4th huge shift that.

20:49

Happened in my life.

I stopped accepting physical exhaustion as the baseline.

Here's what I know about you and I.

We were born into this fight.

We were.

Born into this narrative that women should just live tired or that that's what's to be expected of us or.

21:07

Even that that's admirable in some way.

I want to head into a quote from the book that's a lot about.

Autonomy.

And to be honest, in spiritual circles, I think people sometimes feel funky about the word autonomy.

And we want to be dependent on God, and we want to be interdependent on God's family and community.

21:26

But I have found that a lot of what I needed to recover was some spiritual.

Autonomy and authority in my own life to recognize my own limits and boundaries.

So.

That I could fight my physical exhaustion, so as I read.

21:41

You this quote, I'm obviously skipping straight to it.

I'm not giving you the whole preamble, but I want you to know that when I say autonomy, I mean walking with God, listening to Holy Spirit being empowered by the Spirit that raised Jesus Christ.

From the dead to identify and acknowledge and live into our own physical limits as it pertains to our exhaustion and our rest.

22:07

Here's this quote.

The idea of autonomy is that we have the freedom and authority to make decisions that keep us.

Healthy and whole, the power of autonomy is that no one can take it from us, the beauty.

Of autonomy?

Is that the more we accept this liberty?

22:25

We've been given and walk with Holy Spirit to use it worshipfully.

The more intimacy we'll experience with God and others.

Autonomy also means we can choose self compassion because our human limitations are not a liability.

22:40

From our Father's perspective, God isn't.

Disappointed that your body needs rest.

He made you with intentionality and purpose, and he is not surprised that you.

Cannot continually push past your own physical boundaries.

It's important to know that the real enemy of autonomy is defeat.

22:59

Discouragement is when we feel dismayed or frustrated about the way something is.

For example, if you feel discouraged about the state.

Of your life and the lack of physical rest you're currently experiencing.

That can be a healthy first step to experiencing lasting change.

But defeat is when we feel hopeless, in addition to being discouraged.

23:19

And it can be almost impossible to experience renewal if we're agreeing with defeat and asserting that it's always going to be this way.

I pray.

In this book, you sense the nearness of God as he lovingly leads you to find realistic rest for your body.

23:37

Mind and soul.

And it's with that desire that I invite you to pay attention to any defeat you might feel about your exhaustion.

If you're sensing some agreement in your spirit with the lie that says it will always be this way, that you'll be.

Tired no matter what.

23:53

I completely understand how you got there, but I'm going to lovingly invite you to confess to God.

So that we can see if some fresh hope might not help us fight the fatigue.

We've been battling for so long.

All right, moving on.

Here is the 5th huge shift.

24:09

That happened in my life as I wrote and researched for.

Tired of being tired, I acknowledge that the baseline of mental stimulation in our world.

Was too much for me, so we already talked a little bit about.

Throwing off this shame that you feel about your fatigue.

24:25

But here's what I'm saying clearly.

What is happening in our lives, The amount of information and need and problem and stress and joy.

It's all too much.

It's just actually.

24:41

Too much for our human minds?

And we have to start to kind of peel it back and see what we can handle.

And I say this with.

So much encouragement that if you feel overwhelmed, or if you feel like your brain is fried, or if you feel like you just can't keep up, or if you feel.

24:57

Like you have a hard time being present.

You are not crazy.

It's too much.

It's actually.

Just too much for our minds.

And of course the book is filled with.

Tons of practical tips to help fight that, but first I want to just share with you this quick quote.

25:12

On distraction, I think there's a quote from The West Wing for almost every problem.

And so, as we're talking about the issue of distraction, I'm going to cut straight to one of my favorites in one episode when Sam the deputy speechwriter, is getting riled up about a tell all.

25:28

Book that's going to be published about the White House.

CJ Craig, The White House.

Communications director says this.

Let me tell you something I've learned in my years.

There are victims of fires, there are victims of car accidents, this kind of thing.

25:43

There are no victims, just volunteers.

CJ is suggesting that Sam was volunteering to get riled up.

About something he couldn't control.

I think that we often volunteer to be distracted at the very least.

25:59

We continually consent.

I remember the first time I saw that episode.

I almost spit out the coffee I was drinking.

There are parts of.

Exhaustion that you and I can't escape in this life.

I can't.

Personally, do much but hold on and respond as helpfully as possible.

26:17

But there are.

Parts of my exhaustion, specifically my mental exhaustion that I volunteer for.

And one of those things is allowing myself to live constantly distracted.

Working distracted makes us less effective.

26:32

Driving distracted makes us dangerous.

Trying to love others while we're distracted leaves us frustrated with ourselves.

Our minds and souls are suffering because we've become so accustomed to having 1,000,000 tabs open in our brain.

Again, we'll get into the practicals of correcting this in the next chapter, but for now, let's hold our part.

26:52

In this onslaught of brain fatigue.

So much of our tiredness is due to the effects.

Of living in a broken and fallen world.

But so much of it is because we're allowing ourselves to be constantly pushed and pulled.

Mentally, our brains are tired because they're over.

27:09

Stimulated, forced to multitask when they weren't made for it, holding more problems and tensions than they were created for, and constantly facing distraction from what matters.

We didn't start this fight and we didn't 'cause these problems.

But we don't have to continually consent to them, if you're noticing the pattern, as I'm telling you about the shifts I started with.

27:31

Finding the source of your fatigue.

And then I talked about spiritual fatigue and exhaustion, and then we moved on into physical tiredness.

And then that quote was about mental fatigue.

And now we're going to move into emotional exhaustion.

So the 6th.

27:48

Major shift that happened in my life is I accepted that.

Stuffing my emotions was actually making me exhausted.

This is one of those shifts that is still.

Constantly happening for me and honestly I came home from work a couple of days.

28:03

Ago and I just noticed a few patterns and rhythms in my life where I was.

Kind of zipping up what I was.

Feeling to keep going.

I would even sometimes say it to people.

Who I know and love, I would say, like, you know what?

28:19

I really can't think about that right now.

I'm going to just zip it up and press in.

And that's not to say that there's not times that we need to do that.

But for me, I'm kind of continually offered the opportunity to buy this lie.

That if I don't process my emotions in the moment, it'll be fine for the long haul.

28:39

And the truth is, feeling your feelings is consuming and takes a little bit of time in the moment.

But ignoring your emotions will exhaust.

You in the end, Here is the quote from Tired of being tired about emotional exhaustion.

In many ways, our.

28:55

Culture conditions us, especially women, to pretend as if emotions don't exist or that they're a liability.

We feel shame for crying.

I'm not sure women apologize for anything more than they do for their tears.

29:11

We feel shame for our anger when often what we're angry at is actual injustice, and it makes God angry too.

We feel shame for our fear, as if it's not a natural response to living in a terrifying world.

And what's more, we're often praised for living lives devoid of emotion.

29:32

Our culture praises women for being composed, chill and easy going.

We refer to women as strong if they can make it through a funeral without breaking down in tears as if.

Crying negates the incredible power required of us to.

Adequately navigate grief business women who can get through their days.

29:50

Devoid of emotion are praised for their stoicism.

As if feeling nothing is a requirement to being a compelling and successful leader.

Mothers who never acknowledge their own fears, frustrations and physical needs are glorified as if God.

Intended motherhood to be a place where we forget our own boundaries and borders.

30:11

The.

Problem with our glorification of emotionless living is that it sets a standard no one can actually live up to.

Whether the expectation that will stuff it down is spoken or not, we all begin to see this as the ideal if you're.

30:28

Skeptical of this theory?

Think back to the last time you saw a woman cry around other people, if there were two people or two. 100 in the room.

I'm willing to bet that one of the first things, she said as the tears.

Slipped from her face was sorry I'm crying or I'm not sure why I'm crying or I'm such a mess.

30:47

Sorry, we apologize instinctively for our tears, because we believe the cultural lie that.

Pushing through and ignoring them is a worthy pursuit.

Is the initial process of ignoring emotions easier than pausing to make space and process them?

Sure, it takes less time, but unprocessed emotions never stay that way.

31:08

Unprocessed emotions embed themselves in our souls and bodies, costing us so much more than the short time it would have taken to give them a little air and speak a little truth.

Over them.

All right, friends, here's the seventh major shift.

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That happened in my life and that I pray.

Happens in yours.

When I got tired of being tired, I owned the truth that my refusal to rest.

Was impacting other people.

The truth is this.

When I say like, Oh no, I'm tired, but it's OK.

31:43

The truth is when I buy the lie that.

Exhaustion is normal and to be expected.

The truth.

Is when I push past my own physical boundaries and limitations and live tired, consistently and constantly.

It actually does.

Negatively impact the people in my life, It doesn't serve them, not for the long haul.

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And changing our language and changing the way we live.

And the narrative we accept around our own exhaustion will.

Massively, positively impact our families, the people we lead, the people we serve.

Our communities and our friends.

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So here's a quick quote.

From tired of being tired about.

Changing the language and changing the culture.

I'd love to share a few ways to start with ourselves.

To shift the language and culture, see if any of these would be meaningful for you and the people you do life with.

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Number one, no more glorifying busy or tired.

This change starts inwardly for most of us as God changes our mind, but we can come into agreement with a Kingdom paste by not humbly bragging about how tired or full our days are.

We should not be proud of this especially.

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If we know we're living outside the boundaries and borders of the capacity God has given us, #2, no more self identifying as people pleasers.

Struggling with people pleasing is a natural and understandable tension.

But as worshippers of God and followers of Jesus, we.

33:10

Cannot make this our identity and claim it as if it were positive. #3 No more apologizing for saying no needing rest or setting boundaries.

We should say sorry.

When we've hurt people, or when we're wrong, intentionally or not.

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But I don't believe we should apologize for needing rest, which would be.

Apologizing for how God made us. #4 No more glossing over how bad your exhaustion really is.

I'm not advocating that you spill your guts to a stranger or an acquaintance about your fatigue.

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But among our closest friends in our most intimate relationships, we have to be honest about how we're doing.

If you're physically, spiritually, mentally, or emotionally exhausted, your people need to know.

All right, friends, those were the seven big shifts.

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I pray that maybe one of these, if not more, was encouraging to you and gave you a little bit of hope about.

What is ahead again?

Tired of Being Tired Is available for pre-order wherever you get.

Your books, and I don't want you to just have all of this stirred up in.

34:21

You and no help.

And that's why I'm giving you pre-order gifts if you get.

One or 2 copies of the book.

You can go to jessconnolly.com slash Tired of being tired and see all the pre-order gifts in detail there and enter your information to go ahead and get those sent straight to your e-mail inbox right now to close us out.

34:42

I'd love to.

Just pray for you, Father.

I thank you that you made us not for a life of exhaustion, but for a life of abundance.

I thank you for the fact that we.

Can get tired of being tired, that we can get to a place where we say no more.

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I don't want to feel like this.

I don't want my kids to feel like.

This.

I don't want future generations of women to live under this exhaustion and this expectation of fatigue.

Would you just fire us up and stir us up to receive your realistic rest?

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In Jesus name, Amen.

Friends, I'm so grateful you listened to today's episode.

Thanks for spending time with me.

It would mean the world to me to connect with you.

So you can send me Adm on Instagram at Jess A Connolly or head to my website.

35:34

Jessconnolly.com for more ways to connect if you have a minute to subscribe and leave a review of the podcast.

Wherever you listen, it would massively help us reach more people with the good news.

That they can live fully awake.

Let's go.

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Episode 18: Don’t Lose Your Mind This Christmas

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Episode 16: Gifts You Won’t Hate with Mimi Striplin