Episode 18: Don’t Lose Your Mind This Christmas

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It’s funny that we corporately get so excited about the holidays and at the same time, we corporately talk about how crazy we felt during them once they’re over. We post a million memes about Mariah Carey in October, and then we all post the same meme the week after Christmas about how confused we are. We join in on the narrative of joy and celebration, but we also join in on the preset narrative about how this season leaves us feeling. 

If this resonates with you, this episode is for you. Join Jess on this episode as she shares 4 things to say no to during the holiday season and 4 things to say yes to.

Let’s not lose our minds this Christmas. 

Let’s go. 

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Episode Transcript:

Hey friends, I'm Jess Connolly.

I'm an author, a coach, a Bible teacher and a local church leader.

And I love talking to real people who know what it means to have full lives but also want to walk in abundance.

This podcast is for you.

It's not my podcast, it's ours.

0:19

It's for people who crave light hearted conversations and deeply spiritual truth.

It's for people who are busy, tired, waiting, growing, dreaming, working, or praying about what's next.

Wherever you're listening from, if it's quiet, mundane or busy, I am praying for you.

0:39

And I'm so glad you're here.

Let's go or something.

I think that's funny about our current culture.

We corporately get so excited about the holidays, and together we all talk at the end about how crazy we felt once they're over.

0:58

We post a million memes about Mariah Carey in October, and then we all post the same meme the week after Christmas about how confused we are and how we don't know what day it is.

We join in on the narrative of joy and celebration, but then we also join in on this preset narrative about how the season leaves us feeling.

1:18

What if we didn't just accept the status quo tropes about the holidays?

What if we didn't have to end this whole thing feeling inflamed, fatigued, overwhelmed, and broke the week after Christmas?

What if we pay attention to what God is doing in our midst?

1:36

We say no to the things that make us feel crazy, and we say yes to the things that actually help us connect with God this holiday season.

Listen gals, I'm going to keep this quick because you're busy.

1:52

You've got school performances to go to, you've got drop in parties to organize, you've got presents to buy, you've got stuff to do.

But I just don't want us to leave this holiday season feeling like we lost our minds.

2:09

I don't want us to end Christmas and feel like we didn't even connect with Christ.

So I have four things for you to consider saying no to, and four things for you to consider saying yes to.

Let's dive in number one in the name of Jesus.

2:28

I know it's going to be hard, but I want to invite you to say no to obligation.

I am know that you cannot quit everything.

I know that you cannot not show up for all of the things that you are expected to be at.

But I also know that, like me, there are a list of things that we could do or that we think we should do for various reasons that are all related to obligation and not at all related to worship or desire or calling.

3:01

I'm talking about the party that you think you're supposed to go to because they came to your party last year.

I'm talking about signing up for the extra special beautiful Desserts for your kids school play situation.

We're going to say it.

I'm talking about the gift that you're getting for that one person who you know is not going to give you a gift, but you feel like you should do it.

3:22

And because you really want to be the girl that comes with the gift.

To be honest, all of this is about obligation.

All of this is not from the heart of our Father.

And if you say like, oh, but how do I know it's obligation?

And how do I know it's worship?

3:38

Here's the great news.

And Isaiah, we hear this truth that we will hear a voice in our ear whispering, go to the left or go to the right.

You get to go with God and ask Holy Spirit, am I saying yes to this?

Am I saying, am I going to this out of obligation?

Or am I doing it out of worship?

3:55

And I know that it might feel like you can't say no, or you can't cancel or you can't change your mind.

But here's the crazy news.

You can.

And when you begin to say no to obligation, the people around you will also begin to say no to obligation in the name of Jesus.

4:14

Let's go.

Here's one thing I want you to try to consider to say yes to in this season.

Say yes to quiet.

It's a loud season.

Mariah Carey's on the radio.

Stores are loud, Family's loud.

4:31

I feel like my house is louder with Christmas decorations.

So you have got to carve out, create and take with reckless abandoned the moments of quiet that you can.

I want to encourage you to just try for some moments of quiet, either in the morning or in the evening.

4:49

Don't have the TV on.

Don't be scrolling on social media.

You don't need to see what everybody else's decorations look like.

I promise you.

You can just be present with your own thoughts with what God's doing.

Say yes to a little bit of quiet in this season.

5:06

Amen.

Here is your second invitation to say no to something.

It might hurt a little bit.

I want to invite you to say no to performance this holiday season.

If I'm honest, for most of us as women, I think that a lot of what we're doing is about performance.

5:28

A lot of what we're doing is about how we look to other people.

A lot of what we're doing is about how we want to seem to other people.

The extra special fussy tablescape. the Super special fancy wrapping that's super on brand and trendy your kids matching outfits for the Christmas Eve service.

5:52

Unfortunately, almost none of this is about other people and about making them feel loved.

And almost none of this is about glorifying Jesus.

And most of it, and most of our striving is about our performance and about how we appear to other people.

6:09

So I'm not saying don't buy cute clothes for your kids at Christmas, and I'm not saying don't have fun wrapping the paper.

But I am saying do get honest with God and with your own selves about why you're doing it.

And if you are running yourself ragged and finding yourself exhausted and feeling like you in the holidays and you've just lost your mind, see what pieces you can eliminate a performance right now.

6:35

Kick Satan in the teeth and live under the banner of the gospel.

This entire holiday is about the good news that Jesus came to do what we couldn't do.

So let's don't celebrate by trying to earn our love or trying to earn our worth through the way we show up to Christmas.

6:57

Now here's one more thing to say yes.

To say yes to the Spirit.

Say yes to talking to God and hearing from God and walking with God as you go through the holidays.

My favorite thing about God is that he is in our midst.

7:16

I don't know if that's my favorite thing, but it's at my top for sure.

He's in our midst.

He's right where you're at.

He's with you at the party.

He's with you When you're finishing the overwhelming end of your deadlines, He's with you When you feel stressed being around family, He's with you and He's for you, and you get to go with God.

7:37

So in the name of Jesus this season, say yes to the Spirit.

We're going to take a quick break.

And then I've got two more things for you to say no to and two more things for you to say yes to.

Listen, I've got good news, friends.

7:55

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9:11

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All right, we're back.

Don't come for me.

I'm coming for my own self with this next one.

But I want to invite you to say no to consumerism.

9:29

I know you have to buy gifts.

I know you have to show up.

I know you have to like get fun groceries.

I know that there's a lot of things that we're going to do, But saying no to consumerism can mean that we're able to consume without it being our whole identity.

9:46

And I don't know about you guys, but like, I think this is one of those things that I side eye, the rest of culture about and I really still struggle with myself.

I am still thinking about what I'm gonna get or how I'm gonna fill my home or what I'm gonna give other people and not always from a place of generosity.

10:06

And so I think that we can watch ourselves and just realize that our souls were not meant purely to consume.

Our souls were meant to worship.

Our souls were meant to glorify God.

And I think part of the reason why we in the holiday season feeling so icky and so gross is we just weren't meant for this level of consumption.

10:27

And so if you find yourself in a like, very like, get, get get mode, pay attention to it, repent, and then experience the refreshment that comes from repentance.

I do think one of the worst things that we could do is say like, oh, the holidays are so full of consumerism and not pay attention to how that manifests in our own hearts and lives.

10:52

I want to invite you to say yes to cultivation.

The truth is, you and I weren't meant to consume.

We were built to cultivate.

We were meant to grow things.

We were made and created by God to work and to make this earth and this life and our souls and the people around us more fruitful.

11:14

So I want to encourage you that as you're decorating and as you're buying gifts and as you're going to the places and as you're doing the things, I want to remind you that you are cultivating.

You're creating and building memories.

You're creating and building relationships.

11:29

You're creating and building a life that speaks to God's glory and abundance.

And so if you're wondering what to put in place of the consumerism, put in cultivation and go with God and ask God and ask friends and have these conversations, where you say, was this cultivation or was this consumerism?

11:49

And how can I say yes to building something that matters not just for a few weeks, but for the rest of my life.

One last thing to say no to I want to invite you to say no to expectations.

12:06

We have them.

There's no getting around it.

We have expectations about how we'll be, about how we'll feel about what we should be doing.

We have expectations on other people, on what they should be doing or what they should be getting us, or on how they should be acting or on how they should be living.

12:24

We have expectations about everything and almost never is it more prevalent in the holidays because we had this kind of institutional memory of the year before and the year before and the decades before, and now we have social media.

So we're looking at all of these other people and that is creating even more expectations within us about what it should be.

12:45

And the problem is, expectations ultimately always lead to disappointment.

Expectations almost always lead to disappointment.

So if I were you this week, I would maybe even like, take out the notes up on your phone or journal and get really honest and identify what are the expectations you have on yourself, what are the expectations you have on other people, and how can you, in the name of Jesus, let those go.

13:13

Now one last thing, to say yes, to say yes to expectancy, because expectancy is so much different and expectations, expectation causes us to look at the world and say I think or I hope or I want it to go exactly like this and expectancy says I believe God is for me, I believe God is with me.

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I believe God does good for me and does good inside my life and will continue to move.

Even when it's hard and even when things don't look as tidy as they ought to.

Expectancy says I know that all of this is about God's glory.

13:53

Expectancy says I don't know what's going to happen, but I know that God is faithful and true and sure, and I believe he's going to show up.

Expectancy gives us eyes that look at the world not with a set of determined outcomes that we want to see, but rather a spirit of hope and really like, honestly, a hunger to see God move.

14:18

So get your hopes up, get your expectancy up.

But do take the expectations off.

Now.

A lot of this might feel nebulous.

It might feel like a lot of soul talk.

And so here is my encouragement for you.

I want to just encourage you to share this episode with a friend or a spouse or a family member and say, hey, can we talk through some of this?

14:42

Can we do this together?

Can we talk about how we can cultivate quiet or how we're going to specifically say no to performance and hold each other accountable about that?

Can we talk about the obligations that we maybe need to go ahead and take off our plate, even if that means cancelling some things that we said we'd be at?

14:59

Can we talk about what it would look like to cultivate instead of leaning into consumerism?

And can we share some expectancy about how God is going to move in this season?

I love you.

I'm with you.

I'm for you.

I do not want to lose my mind this holiday season and I don't want you to either.

15:17

Let me pray for you, and then we'll head out.

Father, I thank you that all of this is about the good news.

All of this is about the fact that at just the right time, while we were still sinners, while we wouldn't have chosen him, you sent Jesus Christ for us to take on our sin and our death and to rise with our redemption and our healing and our freedom in hand.

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Would you help us to celebrate that in spirit and in truth, in joy and in expectancy?

In the name of Jesus, Amen.

Friends, I'm so grateful you listened to today's episode.

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Thanks for spending time with me.

It would mean the world to me to connect with you.

So you can send me Adm on Instagram at Jess A Connolly or head to my website, jessconnolly.com for more ways to connect.

If you have a minute to subscribe and leave a review of the podcast wherever you listen, it would massively help us reach more people with the good news that they can live fully awake.